We have a Curly Q&A section of our website where community members ask questions to be answered by their peers. One of our community members recently posted this question and it tugged at our heart strings, and our editor Nikki felt compelled to respond.
Question:
I am a 15 year old girl, and I’m asking this question on behalf of myself and my sister. Both of us have very thick, tightly curly hair. Until I was 13 my mom did my mom did both myself and my sisters hair. I had never straightened or permed, until the age of about 9 when my mom insisted that my hair needed to be straightened. At the age of 10, my mother got so tired of our hair that she decided to perm it. After about two perms, our hair was so damaged that my hair stylist aunt big chopped both myself and my sisters hair. Now, 3 years later, I’m still working through the kinks but the disapproval of my parents has slowed us down. I can’t remember the last time both of my parents didn’t criticize me or my sis on our hair. Comments like your hair looks too wild or unkempt or it’s time for your hair to be braided again are common. It’s also very difficult to convince them to buy hair products. I don’t have a job or a car yet so I have to depend on them…I’m just asking that if anyone can relate or has any suggestions please help. Thank you.
Answer:
I’m sorry that you are going through this.I think it might be time to have a calm sit down with your parents and just tell them how their comments make you feel and offer them suggestions on how they can help you build confidence and love who you are. The good thing is that you have your sister there with you. I’m sure most parents mean well, but they are humans too. They are flawed too, and they don’t know sometimes how to deal. So, ultimately, you have to build yourself up. You have to love who you are and never let someone tell what you should look like, how you should do your hair; if it’s not sound advice and just plain ignorant ignore it.
I’ve learned to embrace comments like “your hair looks wild.” Im like “oh thank you, I was going for that. Looks great right?” Don’t hide your hair for other people’s comfort. This is YOUR life. Think about it, we do not asks those things of people with naturally straight hair. If you like your hair and it’s not harming anyone, then in the words of Shameless Maya, “do you, boo”.
Also, get on YouTube and find your faves with your hair type and keep people who are positive around you. On products you can totally DIY or make a budget and check out our best cheap buys. I had a job at 15 making pennies so I know what it is like.
Do you have a curly question or want to help others in the NaturallyCurly community with your answer? Visit our Q&A section now!
