Search Results: Tracey Wallace

We all know it’s true: kids can be cruel. The media coverage on the effects of bullying from this year alone have proven that bearing the brunt of cruelty, especially at a young age, can have lasting effects, and can even lead to tragedy.

Being different than the status quo can ruin a children’s memories of school and demolish their self-esteem, possibly for a lifetime. So how can you protect your child with curly hair from the straight-haired kids at school? Straightening isn’t the answer.

As parents, we have a responsibility to teach our children to prepare for and face their problems. Unfortunately, however, most of us still don’t even know how to deal with those problems ourselves.

The overwhelming majority of readers on the CurlTalk forum simply say they are glad they are past that stage. For your kids, this journey is just beginning. It’s high time to learn how to prepare them, and yourself, for the school years ahead.

“I Can’t See Over Her Hair!”

Let’s be honest: most curlies have volume, and lots of it. Gravity is unknown to the curliest of us, and this is just as true for kids in elementary school with Afros. So, how do you deal with a head of tall curly hair when the student behind her can’t see the board?

How to deal with this claim

Talk to the teacher.

Most elementary school teachers chose their profession because they love children. God bless them. However, moving your child to the back of the room is an easy solution that will only keep the other children happy, but not your curly kid.

Schedule a conference with the teacher and try to have it in her classroom. Encourage your child to explain the set up of the room before you meet her teacher. This way, when you request that the teacher rearrange her desks – with your help, of course – you can toss some ideas around.

According to Eduplace.com, elementary classrooms benefit more from having separate learning centers in circular patterns instead of traditional lines. Do a little research and see if you can’t persuade her.

Negative Nicknames

Creative or not, they’re plain mean! I’m not sure a single child in the history of elementary managed to escape without a nickname. Even the positives ones back then felt uncomfortable. In fact, the whole idea of having to answer to a name different than the one your parents gave you is a troubling experience.

Mine was, “heart girl,” because I liked to wear a vest that had a heart printed on it. Once the nickname stuck, I never wore it again. In fact, I don’t think I ever wore anything with hearts on it after that, even to this day! You don’t want this to be the way your child feels about her curly hair.

How to talk about nicknames

To avoid the situation, sit your child down before school starts and talk about respect. Explain that everyone’s opinion deserves respect, even theirs. If they don’t like something – explain the difference here between “someone” – let them know that it is OK to express it.

During the year, be sure to consistently ask your child whom their friends are and if they have any “fun” nicknames. If one comes out, ask her how they feel about it. If it’s negatively, let her know that respect is a two-way street. If she is respecting them, they should respect her, and respect means not calling people names they don’t like.

Pressure to Straighten

It starts young…

You’ve worked hard to keep your little girl’s hair natural, curly and beautiful. Now, her best friend is encouraging her to get her hair relaxed like she just did.  So what do you do when your child comes home, excited about a new hair ‘do and worried that her curly hair isn’t “in?”

You might think that you can just browse photos of celebrities with curly hair or have her sit down and chat with another curly that you know. But children have a way of thinking their best friend is cooler than just about everyone else. Nonetheless, you should still try to find  natural hair role models for her.

How to fight hair envy

Find something else that differs between your child and her friend — skin tone, eye color, hair color, freckles, whatever. Make sure that this something is a genetic feature, preferably something that she has in common with you or her father.

Explain to her that the way she looks is both beautiful and  a combination of generations of people, who have worked hard to give her what she has.

You might say, “Look at your dad’s hair, it is the same color as yours! That was a gift from him, to you,”  or, “And those curls, Aunt Susan gave those to you.”

Make her see that she is different and original because of what her family has given her. And then, just hope that the conversation doesn’t spring back up in middle school, when her familial ties, and perhaps a small guilt trip, will be less likely to change her mind.

Were you bullied as a child (or as an adult”>? Share your experiences down below.

What’s next?

Not all nicknames are good. In fact, most aren’t. 

The sad truth about hair discrimination in school.

Before you can instill confidence in your child, it’s important to love yourself. This is how a mother’s confidence impacts her daughter.

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The natural hair community is getting stronger by the day here in the U.S., but that isn’t the case for the rest of the world. In Brazil, the home of the Brazilian Blow Out treatment that uses formaldehyde to straighten tight curls and coils, the pressure to straighten begins very young.

Much like the stories that comes from those in the natural hair community today, who remember long, painful hours of having their hair straightened before they even stepped into an elementary school, women with tight curls in Brazil are encouraged to straighten their hair as well as that of their daughters. And, that encouragement doesn’t just come from the media and culture — it has also been supported by medical professionals in hospitals.

This story isn’t new. Back in September, the site Black Women in Brazil broke the news about Santa Joana hospital, which posted a response on its Facebook page to the following question:

“Minha filha tem o cabelo muito crespo. A partir de qual idade posso alisá-lo? (My daughter has very kinky/curly hair. At what age can I straighten it?”>”

Their response was to use alternatives to formaldehyde straightening treatments (which the ANVISA [Agência Nacional de Vigilância Sanitária or National Agency for Sanitary Vigilance] strictly prohibits on children”> in order to give your daughter beautiful hair.

Many on Facebook considered the post racist and prejudiced and since, the hospital has removed it. However, per usual, there were two sides to the argument.

While many thought the use of the words “makes children more beautiful” in reference to straightening the hair was an outright declaration of prejudiced and even adultification of children, others thought that the post was simply meant to encourage mothers not to use chemicals on their daughters’ hair — especially in a country that so values straightened hair.

And, to be fair, the post did call out straight hair alternatives to chemical processes.

Either way, the story is just one more reminder that this movement is borderless and just as important globally as it is locally.

Our question to you: what would be your response to seeing the post?

Unfortunately, this article is no April Fool’s joke. You can read the full story on Black Women in Brazil.

The conversation concerning the possibility of a pill that could change a person’s natural hair texture has been a hot topic since 2007, when “The International Journal of Dermatology” published their findings that the texture and curl pattern of your hair depend on the shape of your follicle. According to the findings, people with hook-shaped follicles produce hair containing more kertain protein on one side, rather than evenly distributed, which causes the curl. Those with straight hair have a round follicle that coats the hair shaft evenly in keratin.

Following the 2007 publication, “The American Journal of Human Genetics” published a finding in 2009 suggesting that there may be a way to change the texture medically through gene therapy or a hormone treatment.

Industry Interest

Beauty company L’Oreal Paris has staked the most claim on the findings, researching how the development of a pill to alter the shape of the hair follicle will further affect hair texture.

In 2010, the NaturallyCurly community caught on to the going ons of the pill research from an article in “Essence Magazine” suggesting that there is a “cure” for curly and coily hair in the works. Though neither L’Oreal Paris nor anyone behind the research has mentioned the pill as a “cure” for anything – the pill would potentially offer women the opportunity to try out other hair types without heat damage. Allowing women to switch between hair types simply by taking a pill would very likely prove to be an extremely profitable business model, and L’Oreal Paris is attempting to take hold of that niche. 

A Long Way Off

Yet, here in 2013, the pill is nowhere near production and remains largely an idea or myth. In a blog question asked to “The New York Times” on May 13, 2013, the newspaper quotes Nick Martin, a professor at the Queensland Institute of Medical Research is Brisbane, Australia, saying that the pill is still “a long way” off.

Despite more than five years of findings and publications, as well as a piqued interest from one of hair care’s largest brands, it’s likely we won’t see any hair texture changing pill anytime soon – if ever at all. The science behind exactly what causes curly versus straight hair is not an absolute one and what causes curls for one person may only be a small part of what causes them for another, meaning the pill wouldn’t work for everyone.

This doesn’t stop the heated debate, though, between women about whether or not they would take such a pill – testing to see if the grass really is greener. If the pill allowed for an easy transition from straight to curly or curly to straight and then back again to your natural texture, many feel that it would be worth a shot. However, as with many hair texture altering methods, it’s likely that your natural texture will never be the same – big chop or not. 

Would you pop a pill to change your hair texture?

PHOTO CREDIT: JAMES FARRELL

NaturallyCurly: Tell us about your curly hair journey. When did you go natural and why?

Jazmine: I have been natural and curly my entire life. I have never used product to change the texture and I have never worn extensions or weave.

Have you ever received negative comments about your hair?

Jazmine: When I was younger I did receive negative comments, such as nappy, wild, crazy, why is your hair like that, etc. They were mostly from school kids who were unaware and ignorant.

What are your thoughts about the droves of women accepting their naturally wavy, curly, and coily textures?

Jazmine: I think it is still very tough for women to accept their natural hair. What makes it tough is the past perception of curly natural hair women, which has altered so much now that they have the urge or confidence to go natural and accept the potential of a grueling transitioning process. Curly all the way! I love the ringlets and coils in my natural curls.

How do you protect your hair from the cold?

Jazmine: I protect my hair with strong conditioners that are free of drying alcohols and harsh chemicals.  I limit use of shampoos on my hair and try to deep condition weekly.

How do you style your hair when you’re exercising?

Jazmine: My hair is quite short. I am in the process of growing it out after making a drastic cut two years ago. I just leave it in a curly fro while I exercise.  As it gets longer I’ll use a headband or a beanie hat in the winter.

PHOTO CREDIT: JAMES FARRELL

We’ve heard from a lot of women who don’t want to exercise because it interferes with their hair routine. What advice do you have for them?

Jazmine: You don’t necessarily have to wash it more. Try and keep hair in its most natural state while exercising. If it is long do not pull and brush it back in a tight ponytail. Try and keep it pulled back loose or use a headband. Also, keep a water spray bottle with you and some leave conditioner or styling balm so that you can freshen up your curls post workout session. It is not necessary to submerge hair in water and wash it every time.

Being an Olympian calls for a hectic schedule. What are your go-to styles?

Jazmine: My go-to styles are natural and loose or headband and loose. If I want a more tailored look I’ll wear a side part and pulled back in a ponytail

What are your must-have products?

Jazmine: My must-have products include: Biolage Matrix Aqua Immersion Creme Masque, Solange style taffy, and Mizani Supreme Oil Hair Treatment.

What’s your favorite moment being at the Sochi Olympics?

Jazmine: My favorite moment was finishing the race and getting out of the car to a cry of friends and family members of teammates, and fans screaming my name, USA, waving flags, chanting, and being so happy, honored, proud, and excited. I was overjoyed with emotions and at that moment no matter my result, I finally realized I am an Olympian!

Do you have any advice for young women who aspire to be Olympians? 

Jazmine: The biggest yet simple advice I can give young women is just the truth. The road is far from easy. There are often going to be more lows than highs. There will be time when you feel like you took one step forward and three steps back but to be brutally honest, those that are privileged and honored to become Olympians are those who continue to believe in themselves and push through to accomplish their goals of success.

You can follow Jazmine here on Instagram and Facebook.

Natural hair is part of who you are — and don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. Much like accepting and subsequently owning your own, individual personality, natural hair is a key component of what makes you, you.

Don’t get that wrong, though. Just because your natural texture is a part of the story that makes you unique doesn’t mean that it is so easy to accept, or even to love. Learning to shine through your own personality, rather than mimicking those you see on TV or in pop culture, can take years — and some never truly master it.

The same is true for your natural hair. After years of Disney princesses with long, straight hair or Herbal Essences commercials showing you the best, albeit most pleasurable, way to shampoo, it comes as no surprise to anyone in the natural hair community that sometimes, your texture can get you down.

But that need not be the case. Luckily, there are a few habits to slowly incorporate into your life that can ensure even on those bad hair days (of which even our straight hair sisters have”> you feel no less confident about your curls.

Confidence Boosters

Photo courtesy of StephanieKola & NaturallyCurly Instagrams

There’s something in the air with Cher. Cher Horowitz, that is. The Clueless main character has been a hot topic in the fashion and culture news industry over the past few months from Think Progress and The Frisky to Refinery29 and The Daily Beast.  Perhaps the new obsession comes from the movies recent 18th anniversary, and that it takes about two decades for trends to come back around. 

From Cher’s bold plaid looks to her cropped tops, that 90s glam style is back on the scene, and everyone seems to be partaking, our favorite of which is curly girl Charli XCX, the 20-year-old British pop singer who performed at SXSW with IconaPop and who was just recently signed to Stargate’s Stellar Songs.

If you’ve yet to hear of the girl who is sure to become pop’s next fierce warrior (let’s stop with this princess business, already”>, her recent label signage is sure to change that in the future. But, labels don’t much sign anyone without an already existing following, and a large one at that, and Charli has certainly proven her singing and songwriting chops. In fact, Icona Pop’s biggest hit single “I Don’t Care” was written by Charli herself. This year, that track officially knocked Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines off its four-week stronghold on the number one spot.

But does the up-and-comer regret giving away a potential hit?

“I don’t regret giving it away,” she told NME. “[Icona Pop are] totally owning it. I sang it with them at South by Southwest, though, and it was this real girl power moment.”

As for Charli’s fashion sense, she has credited The Virgin Suicides and Clueless as two of her biggest style inspirations, saying “I would love to raid Cher Horowitz’s wardrobe.” Unlike Cher, though, Charli keeps her hair a little bit more out of place.

While ELLE may call it “wild” and The Cut may call it “dirty,” we call it fabulous, natural and curly. Looks like even Cher’s style could use a bit of a modern update, this time around with hair that makes just as big of a statement as the duds she picks up at the mall will. And Charli XCX is embodying that mentality.

Check out her music video here to nab a look at her style, hair and obvious talent:

Photo Courtesy of Charli XCX Music

Lorde is the international pop-star we’ve all been waiting for. She has a strong sense of self, a no-selfies policy unlike most of her peers, is a critical thinker (have you heard what she has to say about hip hop”> and she does it all with little to no makeup and naturally curly hair. For those of you with looser, naturally curly hair (think Type 2 to Type 3″> and straight hair, getting her curls for yourself isn’t too difficult a task.

QUIZ: What’s Your Curl Pattern?

All you need is a curling wand, rose or coconut oil and hairspray. The curls will stay longer as well if your hair hasn’t been washed within the past day. And, for those of you with tighter curl patterns, if you sleep on your natural curl (without pineappling“> for a night, it will help to loosen your curl a bit to get Lorde’s look.

The beauty to Lorde’s curls is that they are indeed natural. When it comes to naturally curly hair, rarely are two curls identical. This is good news if you are trying to recreate her look though because this means that when it comes to her style, there are no real mess-ups.

A conical curling wand will create curls that are not identical (thanks to the disproportionate diameter of the wand”>. Also, don’t fight your frizz. If you look at Lorde’s photos for inspiration you’ll find that her hair is never perfect, so a bit of frizz will help give you that edgy, cool look we’re going for. Just be sure to apply oil after you use the wand.

Get the Look

• Step one: Apply a heat protectant spray to all of your hair and turn the curling wand on to its lowest setting.
• Step two: Grab small sections of hair as they naturally part and loosely wrap the strand around the wand, from top to bottom, and hold for five to 10 seconds. 
• Step three: Continue around your head until you obtain the look you want. 
• Step four: When finished, flip your head over and with your hands, loosely shake out the curls to release them. This step is a MUST.
• Step five: Add a dime-sized amount of rose oil or coconut oil to hydrate the hair. Hairspray if needed for extra hold.
• Step six: Create a deep side part and push hair back and away from the face. 
• Step seven: Spot treat any loose or misshapen curls by twirling them around your finger. 

It really is that simple! If you have particularly straight hair, you will need to curl more strands of hair to get Lorde’s look and apply a light mist of hairspray all over your hair before and after curling it.

For those blessed with naturally curly hair, use the curling wand only to touch up any flat or misshapen curls. Always remember to use the lowest heat setting so as not to damage your hair, and apply oil at the end to loosen the curl to a more natural shape as well as lock in moisture.

Photo Courtesy of Instagram

Something smells fishy about Andre Walker’s new natural hair product line. If you are unaware, Andre Walker is Oprah Winfrey’s hair guru. He’s the man who tracked down that 3.5 pound wig for her September 2013 cover, as well as the man who in 2011 told ELLE magazine that he always recommends women embrace their natural texture, except, of course, if you have kinky hair. For Type 4 he told ELLE, “Kinky hair can have limited styling options; that’s the only hair type I suggest altering with professional relaxing.”

In 2011, this comment threw the natural hair community into a frenzy. After all, a professional stylist recommending relaxers for women with kinky hair and obviously drawing a line between workable textures and those that just aren’t is all too familiar territory for those of us who have had stylists recommend damaging treatments according to their personal bias.

It looks like for Walker, though, it has been a long two years since his comment was first came out and now, in 2013, he is releasing a natural hair product line. The line will include a sulfate free shampoo, conditioner, styling gel, styling creme and additional products that will help to smooth out and straighten your curls and coils.

While the products that encourage wearing your hair natural seem to have the ingredient list rights (no-sulfates, no parabens, low on silicones”>, the real question is will the natural hair community bite?

His producing a natural hair care line is much like Patti Stanger suddenly deciding to promote curls – but only on the heels of an announcement that she found a boyfriend who loves her hair curly only. Walker’s line is launching as L’Oreal and other major brands hop on the lucrative natural hair bandwagon. The announcement also coincided with the preparations for Oprah’s big hair cover. 

According to Juicy Magazine, “The Andre Walker Hair line, created for women who are looking to transition and become natural, promises to treat, condition and style African-American, ethnic and textured hair types without the use of chemical relaxers and straighteners.”

Despite the PR, we suspect this line may serve more as a reflection of the profitability of the natural hair industry than a shift in Andre’s personal opinion. And that makes us wonder: will you buy it?

It’s about time that someone in the public eye went for a pixie cut without all the baggage. Recently, it seems like every celebrity big chop out there occurs for one of three reasons: mental illness a la Britney Spears, coming of age a la Emma Watson or a rebel stage a la Miley Cyrus and arguably Rihanna.

Save Viola Davis, the big chop doesn’t have a very positive image in Hollywood, which is a shame because the big chop can be exponentially powerful.

Hair has a way of shielding us from the outside world. It becomes part of our identity, something that we must touch and utilize on a daily basis. Our hair garners comments from strangers and lovers alike. Our hair is, to some extent, who we are, which is why it is so important to cut it off. 

For those in the natural hair community, it often signals a life changing decision to treat your hair the way that you treat yourself, with love, care and consideration. It often signals the beginning to a new life of no-poo, low-poo and pre-poo, and a million other abbreviations that we’ll learn along the way. It often signals the start to a new lifestyle that we’ll pass down to our children in the hopes that they, too, pass it on to theirs.

The big chop is powerful, and for all the things that it signals, it teaches only one, albeit important, lesson: self-reliance.

When that shield falls to the salon floor, when those comments from strangers and lovers and even best friends quiet down, when you lose a part of who you are, you realize just how much you actually relied on that head of hair to boost your mood, your self esteem, your quality of life – and how much you never really needed it to.

A big chop is powerful because it is the manifestation of strength. It is you flexing your muscles as a whole, happy woman who embraces change, embraces opportunity and smiles in the face of constant adversity.

A big chop is not a meltdown, though for some it certainly has been. A big chop is not merely a coming of age tactic, though for some it certainly has been. A big chop is not just a passing rebel stage, though for some it certainly has been. At the end of the day, a big chop is the realization that you need nothing but your determination, personality and intelligence to get you anywhere and anything you want. And even those who have undergone the big chop under less than hopeful or positive circumstances come away from the experience with that strength reserved only for the brave.

A big chop is strength, stripped down, bare and exposed – and Beyonce is proof.

Would Beyonce’s big chop be better if it were natural? If it weren’t blonde? If it were perhaps a bit shorter? Sure, but we all show our strength through our own individuality. No one’s big chop experience is better or worse than another’s, and everyone has the right to do it their way (remember Willow’s neon green big chop?”>.

Beyonce’s hair might not be natural, but she is a woman of strength and endurance. She is a powerful figure and a role model for so many more reasons than this article can list. And now, she’s helping to put the right kind of light on the big chop. Now, she is helping to prove to Hollywood, the world and our daughters that your hair is an accessory, an extension of self, but certainly not the definition of who you are.

Grow it out, cut it off, keep it curly, straighten it out. Whatever you do, stay true to you. But be warned, staying true takes strength.

Photo Courtesy of Instagram

Selfies aren’t going away anytime soon, and that’s a fact. There are #SelfieSaturdays that encourage all of Instragram to take a photo of their weekend beauty, beauty and fashion bloggers who have seriously made a career out of turning the camera back on themselves, and even articles that academically question the good, bad and or so fab reasons why selfies may or may not be good for your self-esteem.

Generation Y is obsessed with the taking of the personal pic, and doing so is no longer considered stuck-up or self-obsessed. For better or worse, the selfie seems to be here to stay and just like all those who have made names for themselves in the past by sticking to or completely avoiding the most trendy of culture’s endeavors, celebrities have also taken to the habit.  

Miley Cyrus is infamous for her twerk, and her ability to take a selfie of it (that’s Gen Y talent right there”> and Rihanna gets thousands of retweets every time she posts a selfie (generally sans pants or clothes in general”>. But there is one Gen Y’er who has, like so many of the most famous and most admired in history, avoided the current trend, opting instead for anonymity and a controlled, albeit hardly existent, public image: Lorde.

In fact, not only does Lorde, aka 16-year-old Ella Yelich-O’Connor, not take or post selfies, she’s also pretty tired of rappers consistently talking about money. Plus, for the one public image that she does have, she has chosen to take after royal figures and David Bowie alike in choosing a photo with a pouch. Yep, that’s a dog.

Everything about 16-year-old Ella, who goes by stage name Lorde, is an anomaly for her generation. With a natural make-up look, a black dress that nearly covers her entire body and natural hair to boot, Lorde is a confident young woman able to see the irony in her generation’s culture.

She calls out rappers in her hit single Royals, saying, “I’ve never seen a diamond in the flesh. Crystal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece, jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash.” Only later to come back to the money issue, letting her audience know that she understands that it is all about a fantasy. 

Ahead of the crowd? Yes. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t in-tune with her peers. According to Interview magazine, Lorde released Royal free to her fans, given that people her age don’t have credit cards, and she wanted them to be able to listen despite of that fact. Talk about thinking things through.

Overall, Lorde’s limited web exposure and literally one released photo is mind-boggling for this century’s web obsession that centers around life documentation online. But Lorde is too smart for that – wanting to create an image that she can control with each photo, song and music video release. The girl is well on her way to standout stardom – and it’s pretty clear that unlike those who came before her (aka Taylor Swift”>, those curls aren’t going anywhere.

Check out her single Royals here, for free.

Photo courtesy of Interview magazine

Chic hairstyles have long been considered those that are flat and straight, until the natural hair community stepped in. Over the past decade, a brigade of women with naturally wavy, curly and coily hairstyles has paved a path all their own and redefined what it means to have “good hair.”

Today, women across the board, from those working their 9 to 5 jobs to celebrities we see on the big and small screens, are embracing their natural textures more and more often. We’ve seen big chops on Viola Davis. We’ve watched Solange magnificently grow out her hair. We’ve even been privy to the first curly-haired Disney princess, Merida.

Now, a chic hairstyle doesn’t necessarily evoke images of straightened strands. Instead, we’ve come to embrace the fact that natural curve and texture is beautiful, chic and stylish, too. And unlike hair care of the past, health is of utmost concern.

It is thanks to the natural hair community that silicones and sulfates are being taken out of hair care products and that women across the texture board are opting for a cleansing conditioner over a traditional shampoo. Women with natural hair have taught the hair care world what is most important and when the world wouldn’t listen, the natural hair community made their own products to suffice.

And yet, taking a closer look at many natural hair care products on the market, it seems as those not all traditional wavy, curly or coily hair care products and brands really support the natural hair cause.

If the natural hair community’s understanding and promotion of natural hair is to embrace your natural texture, then why do companies like Carol’s Daughter and Miss Jessie’s promote products that loosen your curl? In fact, Miss Jessie’s slogan states: “turning kinks into curls.”

On the natural hair mission, have we overlooked a portion of our natural community? Are there still strong beliefs in place that say a looser curl pattern is better than a tighter one? After all, these brands came out of our own community, why haven’t we stood up to them the way we do to all the others?

Beauty brands make money  by selling people a standard of beauty that they don’t believe they already have. For natural hair brands, Clutch Magazine is calling this type of textured segmentation “curlism.”

That’s right: curlism, the belief that a particular curl pattern is better than another. In this case, it seems that natural hair beauty brands are cashing in on a looser pattern, promoting a stretching affect over an accepting and empowering one.

For beauty brands to sell women items they do not need, that may be harmful to their health or their self-esteem, is absolutely nothing new. But is doing so for the natural hair community hypocritical? Or, perhaps we all just want the chance and opportunity to enjoy textures that aren’t our own, and that does not necessarily mean we don’t love our natural texture.

What do you think: are these hair care brands targeting women with a tighter pattern, and promoting curlism?

Historically, good art has been difficult to define; but rarely is it polite, complicated or without a political stance. Judging by these standards, un-ruly.com has certainly produced art.

What began as an idea spurred on by the rhetoric surrounding the “Can I touch your hair” comments many women with natural hair encounter, ended up as a living New York City conversation piece this past weekend. In an effort to bring light to the controversy, un-ruly.com set up a one-weekend-only exhibit entitled “You Can Touch My Hair.”

Much as its name suggests, the exhibit, located in Bryant Park, allowed passers-by the opportunity to touch natural hair in an atmosphere without bias. But, better than the opportunity to touch natural hair was the conversation sparked by the exhibit amongst the natural hair community because as we all know, rarely does such a large, passionate and engaged community completely agree.

It is what makes the natural hair community so vibrant and such a resounding force in the world. It is a community that speaks up for beauty, for self and for other. And, when it comes to other people’s hands in anyone’s natural hair, this community certainly has a very loud, albeit in discordance, opinion. But the question brought up by the exhibit in New York City, as well as on blogs and forums across the Internet (and probably over wine in your living room with your best friends too”> has yet to reach a majority rules answer: Is it OK for other people to touch your hair?

“What is the issue?” you might be asking, and the list, my friend, grows long. For some, touching without asking is the real issue. For others, it’s the desire to touch at all. For others still, it’s the comments that are spurred on from that initial curiosity which range from “it keeps breaking off” to “it’s so crunchy,” and so on.

On the other side of the fence sits another side of the natural hair opinion, which upholds that this wanting to touch is based solely out of curiosity and a desire to understand. For these people, allowing someone (with permission!”> to touch his or her hair is not only unintrusive, but a way to better understand different cultures and practices. For many, it’s a common human experience exchange.

But no matter which side you fall on, the “You Can Touch My Hair Exhibit” had very few online supporters. By placing what is a mild annoyance for some into an exhibit for all to see, many felt that the showcase was more of a human petting zoo than something to encourage dialogue and open minds. Antonia Opiah, founder of un-ruly.com, is steadfast in her belief that this exhibit was not only a good thing but that it has served its purpose insanely well – by sparking a dialogue amongst the natural hair community as well as those who may not have known it even existed.

In an article for The Huffington Post, Opiah explored the hair touching phenomena, expressing her finding that there is a “lack of the right kind of curiosity across the American population.”

To extract the quote that spurred her decision for the exhibit:

“America the Melting Pot was renamed America the Salad Bowl — a mix of cultures that didn’t blend into one homogenous one, but instead maintained their own identities. There is such thing as a Black American culture, a White American culture, an Asian American culture, Native American, Hispanic American, and there are nuances and differences within those cultures. Living in America and not knowing anything about the other people that live in the country is impolite. It’s like living with roommates for 236 years and knowing nothing about them; awwkwaaaaard. It’s good to know your roommates; it makes for a more comfortable living situation. Americans are already notorious for not knowing much about the world outside of the U.S. We should certainly make an effort to know about the worlds inside America.”

She ends her piece by encouraging people to ask the question: ” Because if you’re actually friends with a person, ‘Can I touch your hair?’ is a question you don’t have to ask because you know that you can either just do it or know to steer clear. And if you don’t know any black people that well enough, maybe you should be asking yourself a different question.”

Was the exhibit informative? Yes. Did it spark conversation and debate? Oh, indeed. Has it cleared the curiosity outside the natural hair community or created a majority opinion within it? Definitely not. 

As with all art, though, it is the seemingly absurd ideas and exhibitions that culture looks back upon with fondness. Perhaps this is the beginning to the end of a decades-long misunderstanding between peoples that live most often right next door to one another. After all, the first step to treating your neighbor as yourself is to understand their viewpoint and how that affects their experiences.

Want to join the discussion? Take part in the panel here.

Princess Merida is the Pixar/Disney idol so many a curly had long been awaiting. When word first broke that the newest princess added to the lineup would be a red-headed, independent and curly-haired young girl who takes to traditional men’s roles such as archery and who doesn’t end up swooned by a man at the end of the plot, women the world over, especially those with curly hair, began counting down the days to the movie’s release.

See, Disney princesses are traditionally of the white, straight haired and helpless type. But Merida, of “Brave,” would prove it all wrong. She would be strong, she would be fierce, she wouldn’t need a man or a flat iron or for her hair to fall perfectly in place for people to like her – or heck, have them like her for her looks at all! It was her personality and determination that won her admirers, and that makes her debut a film so many wanted to rush their daughters to see.

After all, so many of us grew up in a time where our Disney princess idols were perfect except for their situation – which the plot had viewers sympathizing with.  

“She’s too sweet to be treated as though she is a servant.”

“But all she wants is to know what walking is like!”

“She can’t help that she fell in love with a beast. She has a good heart!”

“It’s that mean man that is stopping her from following her dreams and the love of her life.” 

On and on goes the conventional plot that is a Disney movie. A beautiful young, often wealthy, girl sees something she wants but doesn’t currently have – most often love – and she does everything in her power to get it, usually going against her family’s wishes and even into some pretty ridiculously dangerous situations. But, alas, everything works out, because she is pretty and has this great smile and perfect hair and who could ever be mad at her? Who would deny her love? Who would dare deny her absolutely anything she wanted? Other than those villains of course, who were almost always of a foreign tongue (with a thick accent”>. 

Then there was Brave

OK – so enough. Our childhood was filled with unrealistic expectations of love and with movies that underlined just how important it was for a girl to be young and beautiful and kind of ditzy in order to be worthy of the love of a man. But Merida changed all of that. 

Merida makes being a Disney princess everything that it should be. She finds a hobby she loves and uses that hobby to hone a craft and then uses that craft to form her identity and strength. And her curls are right there with her every step of the way.

MORE: Pixar Goes Natural With Curly-Haired Heroine

Merida Makeover

Yet, for Merida coronation as the 11th princess is Disney’s line, the company released an updated depiction of Merida, with less realistic hair (no frizz or miss-matched patterns like the original”>, a deeper cut around the necklace, a slimmer waist and more voluptuous hips. Merida’s image suddenly portrayed sexiness rather than independence and bravery.

Certainly there is absolutely nothing wrong with women being both sexy and independent. In fact, the sexiest women are often the most independent (here’s looking at you Rihanna”>, but with Merida being the one princess who stands away from the beauty as perfection crowd – why perfect her now?

MORE: Jessicurl Gets Brave for Movie Premiere

See, human beauty lies in our imperfections. That one curl that straightens out before noon, that one piece of frizz, the average waistline, the less-than-voluptuous hips, all of those things make us unique and absolutely beautiful because of it. And, it is our inner beauty that we want to show our children i more important than the outer kind anyway. Living in a world surrounded by social media, advertising and yes, even those old Disney princess movies, young girls are more and more turning to eating disorders to fit into what our society says is beautiful.

These girls are working on their outer beauty. 

But, it’s the inner beauty that matters most, is it not? Nice matters, nice gets you places and nice wins you friends, admirers and puts that stunning smile on your face that everyone is attracted to. And even if “nice matters” is just a cliche, don’t we want it to be reality?

MORE: Curly Suzy’s Movie Review of Brave

It’s with our children that we build the next generation and the ball is in our court to demand strong heroines whose inner beauty is just as powerful and head turning as her outer. It’s also our duty to ensure that outer beauty be recognized as a beautiful combination of mismatched details. Because isn’t that what we all are – both inside and out? A human being, full of mistakes and imperfections, and it is up to us to use those imperfections to paint a masterpiece.

Merida did. And our daughters need to see that. Disney’s new portrayal emphasizes the importance of beauty and sexuality over skills and voicing your opinion. Don’t let them silence you. It’s the next generation of curlies that we have a responsibility to – not Disney, not these princesses and certainly not a recreation of a strong character that plays up her looks by nearly changing them entirely.

Editor’s Note:

After much controversy and an online petition signed by 212,000 fans, Disney has addressed the Merida makeover stating: “The artwork used on Merida’s official social media sites has always been the imagery from the movie – there have been no changes. We routinely use different art styles with our characters and this rendition of Merida in her party dress was a special one-time effort to commemorate her coronation. Merida exemplifies what it means to be a Disney Princess through being brave, passionate and confident and she remains the same strong and determined Merida from the movie whose inner qualities have inspired moms and daughters around the world.”

If there is ever a point in time that the world need put aside daily concerns and cares that diverge us all, the Olympics is that time. Only every four years do we get the chance to watch our fellow citizens go after the medals they have worked their entire lives towards.

Some fail, and we feel their pain and loss. There are tears on the big screen and in the eyes of millions of Americans from sea to shining sea. But some also win, and there is a flicker of hope, a chanting of mantras that reminds us all that anything is possible if you work hard enough.

This is the Olympic spirit, encouraging dreams and bringing people of all backgrounds together in a common string of unity. So why is that people on Twitter are bashing Gabby Douglas’ hair?

From those fans stating that she needs hair intervention to those claiming that her clips and brown gel aren’t doing it for them, Twitter reminds us that the Internet does one thing more than in-person social interaction does: it gives ordinary people platforms.

Sometimes this is a good thing. After all, the natural hair community has greatly benefitted from social media and the Internet, and by relation, so have the many lives of the women who have gone natural. But when it comes to the Olympics and a gold medal winning gymnast (who helped to bring the women’s gymnastic gold back to the U.S. for the first time since 1996, by the way”>, calling her out on her “get my hair out of my face” choices seems improper.

The woman just spent the vast majority of her life focusing on this single moment. She just finished sweating and performing in the most publicized event in the world. She just won a gold, and all of those people on Twitter are merely just that: on Twitter.

Curlies, I would ask for your opinion, but you’re already sharing it with us. Check out what natural haired women on Facebook are saying about the backlash:

“For too long we have given too much power to HAIR! Give it a rest people!”

“She’s not competing to win us over on her hairstyle.”

“In the grand scheme who cares about her hair. This young lady (young being the operative word”> is making history. Were there really people focusing on her hair?!?!! I was too mesmerized by her graceful abilities to notice. Besides there was nothing wrong with it!!! #showsomerespect”

“HATERS”

“REALLY!? This is exactly the ignorance and stupidity that has only 1 woman of color winning a gold medal (please correct me if I’m wrong”> on the gymnastics team for USA. Why aren’t they hyped by that fact, this young lady is on some history books status and not concerned about how hair comes across on tv while she’s tearing down the international competition. Most importantly she’s not being a statistic like so many think that we all are! Priorities people, get them in check! Gabby, is thebomb.com so either get on board with her support train or get ran over, cause she’s a movement!”

What’s your stance?

We all know that braids, protective styles and definitely relaxers can have a negative affect of your hair and overall health, leading to recessing hair lines, alopecia and many other truly harmful issues. These health concerns are what have so may of us going natural to begin with, but ladies, beware! If you are wearing your hair down and over one of your eyes, Emo-style, the vast majority of the time, your hairstyle could have you developing lazy eye!

This is not a joke (though I admit I giggled a little when I fist read it”>! Andrew Hogan, a national executive member of Australia’s Optometrists’ Association, in an interview with The Daily Telegraph, “If a young Emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won’t see a lot of detail … And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic. If you walk around with an eye patch on all day, then that eye will end up seeing more poorly than the other eye.”

OK – so maybe not all of us curlies are sporting a hair-over-the-eye look, but Justin Bieber better beware! Selena might not be so in to his hair-do once she finds his eyes a wandering elsewhere.

Of course, other optometrists are speaking out against Hogan saying that the idea that a hairstyle could cause permanent vision damage is absurd.

“This is a crazy idea, the concept of this blocking vision and causing problems with sight,” Auckland-based ophthalmologist Justin Mora told TV New Zealand. “It’s just silly.”

Maybe it is, but so is the Emo hairstyle altogether! After all, hair flipping and a deep-side part (which is totally in this summer, so watch out!”> aren’t mainstream hair culture. Then again, neither are our natural curls, coils and waves.

Either way, curlies, maybe wear a headband to keep your tresses out of your eyes just in case!

AnnaLynne McCord has long been a favorite in the textured hair community. She forgoes the straight hair as beauty trend and rocks her natural waves and curls as much as possible. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find a photo of the girl with straight tresses, at least on a night when she got to dictate the curvature of her hair.

And now, to up the ante, one of Hollywood’s most famous naturally curly gals is tossing the security blanket away and saying to hell with Hollywood’s standard of beauty. Before heading out on a trip to tour the Palmachim Air Force base in Israel, she Tweeted out a photo of her without makeup, blemishes and all, stating, “I woke up this morning and decided that I’m over Hollywood’s perfection requirement. To all my girls (and boys”> who have ever been embarrassed by their skin! I salute you! I’m not perfect — and that’s OK with me!”

She continued her make-up free debut throughout her stay in Israel, sporting her au natural locks per usual to go along with her au natural skin. As if AnnaLynne wasn’t already an idol, at least for the natural hair community, her deconstructing of Hollywood beauty and her adamant stance to reach out to her fans and encourage them to be themselves, imperfections and all, is truly beautiful.

After all the talk we do here at NaturallyCurly and all the people we talk to, the most common response we get about celebrities and their natural hair is that celebrity stylists simply think that the celebrities are too afraid to break the mold, to be themselves, to deviate from what Hollywood says is standard beauty. If this is the case, then celebrities like AnnaLynne, Viola Davis and Solange are some of the most noble and notable women. They serve as beacons of inspiration, empowerment and encouragement, not just to those of us who relate to their struggles, but to our daughters and the younger generation of women who have idols like these women to look up to – idols that many of us never had.

Brava AnnaLynne. We stand with you in your salute to imperfect skin, natural hair and troop support.

What about it curlies: would you go make-up free to serve as a role model for young girls and boys?

Let me be honest: I often complain that wavy hair is the most difficult and least versatile of all the textured hair types. I mean, I can’t get second day hair to save my life, my hair LOVES silicones (which means co-washing is kind of out of the question”> and I won’t ever be able to get the tight coils my type 3c and type 4 sisters can get — even though they can use things like Curlformers to get my waves.

So much about the curly hair community just doesn’t apply to a wavy, or at least to THIS wavy. I am envious of women with big curly or coily hair and those who can do bantu knot-outs without their hair being completely straightened in the process. I am so. jealous. of. you!

Of course, there are plenty of things that I love about being a wavy and plenty of tips in the natural hair community that DO apply to me and my type 2 friends. Possibly one of my favorite things about being a wavy is that my hair is light weight and generally not thick, but it can hold bobby pins and hair styles like the curliest of textures! In that vein, wavies have the best of the straight hair and the textured hair world.

My inability to get second day hair has made me a master craftswoman at creating second-day updo styles with bobby pins that I get compliments on all day, every day. So here it is, the wavy manifesto for using bobby pins and me showing you how to get a simple wavy hairstyle that works with your waves, not against them.

1. This works best of second day hair, so be sure that your hair isn’t clean. Begin by flipping all of your hair to one side and behind your ear, grab a section of hair from the front and simply start twisting it.
2. Continue twisting across your forehead and down behind your other ear. Once finished, pull the rest of your hair into a low pony, making sure to keep the twist tight and in place so that it doesn’t fall out.
3. Twist the hair that you would put into the ponytail into a side bun. Pull out your box of bobby pins and instead of using a rubber band, start pinning down the bun. Be sure that the bobby pins are a color similar to your hair color and that you secure them tightly by crisscrossing them through the bun.
4. For a more defined look than the one I achieved, try using a gel or edging product, I love Ampro, to make frizzies stay in place and clean your edges.

What is your favorite wavy hair second-day hairstyle?

Always on the look out for the next big celebrity who might take our natural ways all the way to Hollywood with her, I sat down with Tanya Wright who plays Deputy Kenya Jones on HBO’s True Blood.

The actresses admits that the Hollywood pressure to look like everyone else had her trying to hide her curls. But with a new season on the horizon and her first small-screen debut with her natural hair, she feels better than ever about her hair, her career and most importantly, herself.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I play the role of Deputy Kenya Jones on HBO’s True Blood. Bronx born and bred, I’m a native New Yorker who LOVES dark chocolate, playing with my black Labrador dog (Macarena — yes, like the dance!”>, nature, hiking, movies and yoga. I LOVE to eat and am quite serious about some foods, especially pizza – did I say I was a New Yorker?

What about your natural hair journey?

My journey to embrace my natural curls happened when I embraced my WHOLE self. I struggled with my hair all my life! I’ve straightened it, relaxed it, braided it, colored it — you name it — all in an attempt to get my hair to look like everyone else’s. In Hollywood, most folks wear weaves, so that’s what I did too. Anything to not “stand out.”

I was a tender-headed kid. I remember one day, my sister was getting her hair relaxed, but my mother said I couldn’t. I went to the bathroom and put a whole heap of grease in my hair to make it “straight,” but all it did was hang in greasy, limp strands on my shoulders. I tried to straighten it with a hot comb, and burned my hair, scalp and ears more times than I can count. My hair texture is very different from most everyone in my family, so no one knew what to do with it. Now, I never put heat of any kind near my head. Never, ever, ever.

Then, a few years ago, a friend gave me a book called “Curly Like Me” and it literally changed my life! Teri LaFlesh (the author of the book”> was someone who had the same hair struggles and had perfected this “system” for her hair that she wanted to share with others. That book was like drinking a tall glass of water in the desert — I didn’t even know how thirsty I was! Ever since that day, I started to take care of my hair with loving kindness and TONS of moisture!  I discovered a really cool natural/curly hair community on YouTube, where I learn new things all the time.

What is your current routine/regimen?

I wash my hair about once every three weeks with a very mild shampoo like Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Oil or Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Soap. I massage my scalp and let the soap wash over the rest of my hair. I do all this in the shower. Then I put a TON of conditioner in my hair and let that sit while I wash.

Then, with a wide tooth comb — my hair is sopping wet and crazy moisturized — I divide my hair in four sections and start combing it through from bottom to top. It’s tempting to want to do this part really fast, but raking a comb through your hair will only succeed in massive hair breakage.

Finally, I rinse my hair out with cool water (ALWAYS with cool water”>, wring it dry with my hands and put in more conditioner. There are several different brands I like and use interchangeably. Sometimes, I put some olive oil on the ends and let it dry naturally. Once a month, I’ll do a deep conditioner — avocado, honey, banana, olive oil and some aloe vera water — blend that up, slather it on my hair and leave it in all day.

What about your hair stylist?

I don’t see a stylist regularly. There’s one on the show, but I basically do my own hair. There isn’t much to do in the way of traditional styling. I’ve realized doing less is more with curly hair, so I just make sure it is always super hydrated. Mostly, I leave my curls alone.

What are your favorite hairstyles to wear with your curls? 

I like to wear my hair all out, wild and natural. The less I do to it, the freer I feel.

What do you do at nighttime for your hair? 

Sometimes I massage oil in my scalp and coat the ends with shea butter. Sometimes I “band” it so that my curls will be stretched in the morning, and sleep with a satin cap every night to keep in moisture and alleviate breakage. I’m religious about my satin cap.

What is the best thing about being curly?

I love that I have a cool, unique way to take care of myself. When I take care of my hair, I take care of ME. It’s about nurturing myself and celebrating what is unique and different about me. Every curl seems to have an exuberant life all its own. I struggled with my hair’s natural texture for so long, but now, I love my hair! It is my crowning glory and I celebrate it often.

How do you think having curly hair has impacted your daily life? 

It has impacted my life positively in every way! Embracing my natural hair has made my life easier and it has made me happier.

What would you tell other to encourage them to embrace their curls?

I recently went to a friend’s house and noticed her daughter had hair that was very similar to mine: she had it up in two dry, crunch balls on top of her head. I told her I could help her with her daughter’s hair and she nearly cried. Literally!  She struggled with it daily and had no idea how to deal with it. We went to Target and got a wide tooth comb, shampoo and about three different types of conditioners. I showed her how to do her daughter’s hair and when we were through, Baby Girl Maddy had gleaming, glistening curls atop her head!  My friend almost cried again! I was so happy I could help her.

Mostly, I would tell people to go in the direction your hair is going. For me, straightening (via chemicals, hot comb, curling irons, etc.”> was the opposite of what my hair wanted. Whenever I straightened it, it would inevitably curl back up 15 minutes later.

Don’t resist your curls! Embrace their unique quality and find a regime that works for you. At the end of the day, you’ll be happier, your curls will be grateful and you’ll be more than you’ve ever been. I actually feel prettier with my natural hair and get tons of compliments about it. People ask me all the time why didn’t I always wear my hair like this.

Current projects – life and what you’re up to!

I am in the middle of shooting season 5 of True Blood. Kenya’s back, and for the first time, I will be wearing my natural curls on the show. I usually come in with my hair wet and moisturized; the hairdresser on the show might spray a bit of gloss for shine and finger through a few curls. I don’t really touch or manipulate my hair while it’s drying.

I recently completed work on my directorial debut Butterfly Rising and wrote a book of the same name! Butterfly Rising is currently on the film festival circuit. We will tour 11 U.S. cities with the movie in August! For more information about the tour, what cities we’ll stop in and when, please join our FB page. That’s where we post all of the up-to-the-minute details!

I also shot a movie called “Predisposed” with Jesse Eisenberg, Melissa Leo and Tracy Morgan that premiered at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival and will be in theaters sometime this year.

I am working on a number of other projects: other films, television series, web shows. HAIRiette’s of Harlem is a web show about an actress, with natural hair LOL! Part spoof, part real life, and totally fun!

Get more info on the movie, “Butterfly Rising.”

Follow Tanya on Twitter!