Search Results: Cozy Friedman

The Jonas Brothers. Will Ferrell. John Mayer. Justin Timberlake. Justin Guarini. Adrien Grenier. Sasha Baron Cohen.
While the women in Hollywood seem to struggle with the idea of rocking their natural curls, there seems to be no shortage of curly guys roaming the red carpet.
I won’t claim that male celebrities are completely immune from the lure of straight hair, however. Shia LeBouf and Jonas brother Joe have both sported straightened or slicked-back hairstyles. As a fan of Shia back when he was in the Disney Channel show “Even Stevens,” I was disappointed to see him hitting the red carpet for Transformers with his pomade-heavy, slicked back ‘do. Even Justin Timberlake has been spotted recently sporting a short buzz cut rather than the honey-colored curls we all remember from his boy-band days.
Regardless of whether they’re walking the red carpet or walking to class, I’m a big fan of guys with curly hair. At the private school I attended for a couple years all the boys had to keep their hair quite short. Now that I’m in college, it’s a treat to spot guys on campus who don’t have a dress code dictating how they cut their hair.
I can’t write a column exposing the merits of curly guys without mentioning my boyfriend, Josh. Josh’s hair is epic: not only is it curly, but it’s also long. With hair falling past his shoulder blades, he’s definitely easy to spot from across the room. I’ve never quite figured out how he manages to spend less time on his hair then I do while simultaneously keeping it looking healthier, but somehow that’s always the case. I’m still trying to discover his secret. He wears his hair down every day, so perhaps it’s relatively sedate because he avoids the wear and tear that hairties can inflict.
I was curious to know what prompted him to rock such a long style, so I asked him. He told me that he let his hair grow out while attempting to decide how to cut it, and then decided to keep it long. I maintain that it’s his admiration for a particular long-haired metal guitarist that inspired his mid-back locks. After reading the first paragraph of this column over my shoulder, he immediately rattled off a list of rock and metal musicians. Apparently if you want to find men with long curly hair, go no farther than the first metal band that comes to mind. (Seriously, do an image search for “metal guitarist” and you’ll see exactly what I mean.”>
Now that I have such a handy comment section below my column, tell me your opinion of curly guys! Any favorite curly celebs that you’d like to mention? Leave a comment and let me know!
Stay Curly,
Julia
Dear Cozy:
One of my 2-year-old twin daughters has spiral curls on the ends of her hair, and the roots seem rather straight. Her father has curly/wavy hair when it is long as is mine. My eldest has rather curly hair, and is a 3a. The twin’s sister is a 2b (non-identical”>. I cannot figure out what type of hair this twin has and how to care for it. I also think she needs is trimmed all over but my husband is afraid I would cut her curls out and they wouldn’t come back. Her hair has never been cut (except for trimming her fringe”> and my poor hubby is afraid she will lose her precious curls. I wonder if her hair is weighing them down. Any suggestions?
Dear Confusing Curls:
I can see why your husband is worried about losing those curls. They are adorable. It’s very possible that you may BOTH be right. Perhaps the weight of her hair is weighing down her fine hair or her baby hair may be curly but her new hair may be straighter. It’s hard to know. I recommend that you give her a trim and cut some long layers to help prevent weighing down the hair. No matter what, her hair will look better with a little shaping. I know your husband doesn’t want to lose those curls, but at some point he will have to give in to a trim!
Dear Cozy:
My son is 17 months old and has 2a/2b hair, and I’m not sure what to do with it. My mom, who has pin-straight hair, thinks I should cut it (it’s starting to mat and tangle in the back”>, and my husband, who has 2a hair when he grows it out, is beginning to agree. I just can’t bring myself to cut his beautiful curls! How do I get the most out of his beautiful waves and reduce the matting.
Dear Early Curly:
It’s important to keep hair healthy and manageable by trimming regularly. But if you like his long curly hair, there’s no reason to cut it off! Instead, just make sure that you are detangling daily, because this will prevent it from becoming matted. Try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler in the tub. After you apply to hair, comb through tangles with a wide-tooth comb. Rinse. If you do this every day, hair will not get matted. For in-between tangle maintenance, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Spray Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. This will allow you to comb right through the knots.
Dear Cozy:
My daughter is 2 years old. She has a mix of 3b/3c hair. I’ve used Johnson’s and Johnsons and the detangling spray, but they actually tangle her hair more. She doesn’t have the patience to sit and let me comb it. I need help! When she was a baby I would use baby oil and water but I don’t think that would work right now. I hope you can help me.
Dear Tangled & Impatient:
No two year old will have the patience to detangle! It can be long and painful. Instead, try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler in the tub. After you apply to hair, comb through tangles with a wide-toothed comb. It won’t take long, and she will be distracted in the tub and won’t even realize you are detangling. For in-between tangle maintenance, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Spray Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. This will allow you to comb right through the knots without fuss. One last tangle trick to prevent knots is to put her hair in a loose braid or pony, and always have her wear her hair up or back when doing activities that typically causes tangles, such as sports, playground, etc.
Dear Cozy:
My little curly gurly is turning two, and we’re having a birthday party. Any ideas on what to do with her hair? Her hair has a 3b–4a range.
Dear Birthday Curls:
I have two words for you: SIMPLE and NATURAL! It’s hard to recommend a style without knowing more about your curly girl, but those two words of advice work for everyone. If you try to get too fancy or complicated, chances are it won’t stay in throughout the entire party and you’ll end up with something you wouldn’t have chosen. Also, you want your daughter to look like herself on this big day. Try pulling the front or sides back in a twist and securing with a great bow, fun clip or great headband. Afro puffs are also a cute style. My other advice is to experiment with her hair a few days in advance, not the morning of the party. The day of the party you want as few surprises as possible. Have fun!
Dear Cozy:
I am the dad of a 6-year-old daughter with VERY curly hair that I want to help her control because she cries when it is brushed. It’s just below her shoulders. Any suggestions?
Dear Sad Dad:
The first thing you need to know is that you should NEVER brush curly hair. Brushing it will ruffle the cuticle and cause it to look frizzy and fuzzy rather than curly. Instead, you should be combing hair in the tub with a wide-toothed comb. If you comb when you are conditioning her hair, the tangles will comb right out and there will be no discomfort, hence no tears! After the tub, wring out excess water and “scrunch” in a styling gel or cream. This will help prevent frizz and help keep curls smooth. I recommend my So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream.
Learn more about and ask questions of Cozy and our other columnists.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
Q: My nephew is 18 months old. He is biracial — his mom is white with very thick, coarse, curly hair, and his dad is black with coarse very, very curly hair. My nephew has the craziest hair, and I’d like to help my sister tame it. She ends up having to chop it all off because it gets too out of control. Any suggestions?
Cozy: Don’t worry! At 18 months, a baby’s hair is still changing. Often, the combination of baby hair and the new texture that is growing in is what makes the hair so “crazy.” It’s best to keep it short at this age to keep him more comfortable. Once he starts to get a little older, a great alcohol-free gel will be extremely helpful in managing his hair.
Q: How do you keep a child still while you’re working on a hairstyle? Mine is so squirmy! She’s 3 and a live wire. I don’t even try elaborate styles — only puffs and twists. Is there a trick to getting children to sit for long periods of time? I want to try cute braided styles.
Cozy: Distraction, distraction, distraction! You can’t expect a squirmy child to sit still for anything unless they are focused on something fun. Prepare your ammunition — try styling in front of her favorite DVD, have a book (or two”> on hand, some bubbles for her to blow, a musical instrument, crayons ot whatever else may hold her attention. Don’t be too ambitious at first. Continue with the simple styles until you become more successful with your styling sessions, and then gradually start with the braids. Eventually she may really look forward to it!
Q: I’m expecting a baby girl in one week. Any suggestions on what to wash/condition her hair. I’m assuming it will be curly eventually, and don’t want to start drying it out with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo. Any advice would be great!
Cozy: It’s never too early to plan, although your baby may not even have any hair at first! When it is time to start shampooing, keep in mind that it is not necessary to shampoo daily. Once or twice a week is fine. You can always rinse baby’s head if you feel she needs a cleansing. When you do shampoo, be certain to use a tear free baby shampoo that is paraben-free. Parabens are synthetic preservatives that have been linked to cancer.
Q: My 13-month-old curly boy was lucky enough to be blessed with an abundance of hair. In my family, we don’t cut the hair until children are 1 so he’s got hair to his shoulders when wet and not even stretched. He’s got a curly afro when dry. Problem: I have to fight to comb his hair. I cornrow it from time to time, and it takes an hour for five or six measly braids. I let him wear the ‘fro, which my husband adores. But then it takes forever to detangle, and he cries and cries. I’m at my wit’s end! How much should a boy have to go through just to have his hair done?
Cozy: You are blessed; his hair sounds amazing! The best way to handle those tangles is to keep up with it daily. Start with So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangling Treatment while in the tub. After shampooing, apply a generous amount (use more in the really tangled parts”> and then easily comb through knots with a wide-toothed comb. Start at the ends, combing one inch at a time, working your way up the hair strand toward the scalp. Be sure to hold the top of the hair strand with the other hand so you don’t tug on the hair. Continue to work your way around the head. This process will help a lot. When there’s no time for the tub, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. You can use this on wet or dry hair and will help comb through those tangles in between baths.
Q: I have a 7-year-old daughter who refuses to take a bath more than twice a week. She has 3a curls, midway down her back, and I’m trying to find a strategy for keeping it looking good all week long. The first day or two, she can wear it down because the curls look really defined, but then it gets puffier and puffier.
Cozy: Sounds like you need something in between baths to reactivate those curls. You can use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. Not only will it reactivate the curls, but it will condition and replenish the moisture in her hair. An extra added benefit is that it will help deal with snarls too! You can use on wet or dry hair.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
Today I had a wonderful hair day. I credit my hairdresser for my particularly shiny curls: during my recent haircut, she urged me to acquire a diffuser and reinforced the fact that “product is your friend; don’t be afraid of product!” Her advice worked, and she gets props for never once suggesting that I let her blow my hair straight. She did mention, however, that when she was growing up she had no idea how to style her long curls. After losing a few battles with frizz, she said, it was easier for her to straighten her hair every morning
f you’ve read my past columns, you may notice that I’ve expressed some pretty strong opinions about straightening. You might even get the impression that I’m against it all together. Not so. However, I will admit that it makes me a bit sad when curly girls straighten their hair because they haven’t had a chance to learn the tips, tricks, and strategies that could help their curls look their very best.
Thanks in part to the new tricks my hairdresser taught me this week, I’m pretty pumped about my curls these days. While I fully plan on continuing to evangelize the beauty of naturally curly hair, I do recognize that even the proudest of curly girls can use a change once in a while; shaking things up now and then can be wonderfully refreshing!
If you’re looking for something different and plan on flat-ironing your lovely locks, I have two suggestions. First, practice safe straightening! Last year I routinely saw my roommate take a flat iron to her damp curls: I could smell burning hair across the room, and the steam it produced was vaguely unsettling. It doesn’t take an expert to know that can’t be good.
On the site this month you’ll find tons of suggestions that can help you minimize the damage straightening (or any other type of heat styling”> can cause. Check out some of these tips before you straighten your hair; your curls will thank you for it later.
My second bit of advice is to remember your curly pride! If you’re like me, your friends are accustomed to seeing you with a fairly routine range of hairstyles. If they rarely or never see you with straightened hair, prepare to get a reaction! I used to think my hair looked better straight because of all the extra attention it garnered. But in reality, my friends were just responding to the change.
Change can be fun, and rocking a novel new style is a great way to mix it up. Before you reach for the flat iron however, make sure you know how to make your hair look its best! Once you’re happy with your natural curls, straight styles will be nothing more than a fun diversion from your normal style.
Stay Curly,
Julia
Q: My little girl is a 3b, When it is wet, it has really nice curls. But after it’s dried, it looks dry and messy. I tried the Suave and VO5 products, but nothing seems to work. What can I do to control her wild hair?
Cozy: It sounds like your daughter’s hair is dried out and in need of a good conditioner, which is why it looks like that when its dry. Try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner and my secret tip — don’t rinse it all out. Leave a little in on the ends for extra conditioning. For even more help, use a great leave-in conditioner like So Cozy Fruity Delight. This will add one more layer of moisturizing help.
Q: I’m really stuck with what to do with my 18-month-old daughter’s hair for my wedding? Her fringe is in the process of growing out, and she has curls that appear and disappear throughout the day. She won’t wear headbands, and if I tie her hair up, it lasts five minutes and then falls out. She has lovely shiny hair, and it is really thick but quite fine.
Cozy: Think simple! The simpler, the better. I like to use “pinch clip” type of hair clips b/c they are so light & go in so quick, that your daughter will barely notice when you put her hair up. The other benefit of the easy clip is that if you need to fix during the festivities, it will be quick & easy. One more tip, practice and decide a few days prior to the wedding. You don’t want to be experimenting with hairstyles on the big day!
Q: I found this site looking for more information on relaxers. I have a 9-year-old biracial daughter, and she has been getting her hair relaxed for a few years. I’d love not to do that anymore, but its really hard when she’s still at an age that her hair is just WAY too much for her to handle on her own. And relaxing just seemed the easiest way to make it not such a painful experience when it has to be washed/styled. Looking back at pictures of her before, I see her beautiful texture and curl and would love to get it back. I think I’m more educated now, and more prepared to handle the different challenges her hair has compared to mine (also curly, just not quite so!”>. How can I help her transition to her natural texture — 3c/4a. Also, I’ve had lots of problems learning to use products. Some seem like they’re not enough and some seem like too much. And then of course, it could be that I’m not using enough or I’m using too much!
Cozy: Growing out the relaxer will definitely be a challenge! The first step will be getting a really great haircut and making a plan with a professional for the haircuts you will need throughout the grow-out process. Next, you will need to experiment with different hair accessories to help you through the awkward stages. Throughout the entire process, you should experiment with different gels and styling creams to find which ones work best for your daughter and how much to use.
Q: I am a curly girl, and I have an 18-month-old cousin who is also curly. We are the only ones in the family with any wave at all. I want to help my aunt care for my cousin’s hair, but I am not sure what’s the best way to do so. She shampoos his hair, and that’s it. He has wispy little curls at the nape of his neck and at the sides of his head. What should I tell her about hair care now and in the future?
Q: It’s really important for your aunt to embrace his curls and help him to do the same as he gets older. As we all know, ”the grass is always greener” so people with curly hair always wish they had straight hair, and vice versa. As for caring for the hair, keeping curly hair hydrated is key to preventing hair from looking dried out and frizzy. So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream is great for young children because it is very light, will prevent frizz and keeps hair smooth and natural-looking.
Q: I am the mom to six children. One of them is a 13-year-old with what could be beautiful curly hair. Her hair was not curly until she was about one, when one stray hair curled on the top of her head. Soon her head was covered with lovely Shirley Temple ringlets. People would always ask if I curled her hair!! As if I had the time! She is now 13, and although some of her hair forms ringlets, it’s a frizzy mess in others. Part of the problem is that she had thyroid disease. We have had a difficult time getting her regulated even though she has been on medication for a few years.
What is a good product to use for a teen? I need things that won’t weigh her hair down too much, but will give her much needed moisture and definition. Is there a good deep conditioner that she can use? Also, we have been swimming at our pool. Is there extra stuff we need to do for that? I am a wavy and have another daughter with wavy hair. But this daughter is all real curls!
Cozy: Hair becomes frizzy when the cuticle is dried out or ruffled. You are smart to look for a great conditioner, which will keep her cuticle smooth. So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner is a thick and creamy conditioner, which is just what she needs. For extra conditioning, leave a little conditioner in at the tips rather than rinsing it out completely. Leave-in conditioner will also be important in maintaining well-hydrated hair. You can use So Cozy Fruity Delight, which not only is a leave-in conditioner, but a detangler as well. This will help to prevent damage during comb outs, which will also help to keep hair looking smooth. As for swimming, chlorine is one of the worst offenders of damaging hair! Always use a swimmer’s shampoo to clarify hair. So Cozy Green Apple is paraben-free (as all So Cozy products are”> and will naturally detoxify hair and prevent chlorine damage.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

My-Cherie
Two weeks ago, on a whim, I decided to perm my hair. It’s been seven years since I straightened my hair.
Before you hit me over the head with a book, please let me explain. I’ve been extremely frustrated with my hair in this summer Texas heat. It’s been brutal. A couple of Sundays ago, my kinky-haired model friend, Zion, and I decided to go shopping for wigs and ponytails at the local wig shop. The experience was unbearable. The hair was cheap and the customer service was bad. Zion and I looked at each other in disgust over the whole situation. Why is it so hard for a kinky girl to get some decent hair in this town?
Frustration sometimes leads to desperation. Zion and I decided that at that very moment we were not going to think twice about it. We were going to take the plunge and perm our hair. We knew that we didn’t want our hair too straight — just more manageable. We also wanted to maintain our kinkiness. We had to find the best salon in town that could make this happen. I told her that I was not going to do it unless she did it and she said that she was not going to do it unless I did it. So we both took a chance and did it! We made an appointment that day for the transformation. The sisters’ pact was sealed.

Zion, the hairstylist and My-Cherie, post perm.
The salon service was fabulous. I had a great hand massage while sipping on herbal tea. I hadn’t been “hair” pampered like that in so long that I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then reality began to set in. Less than five minutes after my stylist started to put the perm on my head, my ears began to tingle and then it started burning all over. I began to have flashbacks of when I was a little girl and my mom would perm my hair. I would jump around frantically saying, “Please mommy, take it out! It burns!”
My stylist rushed to the sink to wash it out. The wash out was torture. It felt like little prickly pine cones stabbing me all over. After thorough rinsing, my stylist noticed that my hair was still in a fro. The problem is, my hair is thick but my scalp is so sensitive I can’t leave a perm on long enough to actually straighten my hair. My stylist said, in the most peculiar way, “It seems like your hair rejected the relaxer. It’s just as thick as it was before we permed it. Girl, I’ve never seen anything like this.”
Oh, gee that’s great. Of course this would happen to me. Look where spontaneity got me.
My life has taken a twist. I know I always talk about the pressures of conforming to straight hair in the modeling industry, while fighting to stay true to myself and everything I believe in. It sounds crazy, but I had to see for myself how my life would change with a perm. Now I realize why I hadn’t permed my hair in seven years:
- No one can ever seem to get it right.
- I hate the way a perm makes my hair smell.
- My scalp cannot handle it.
- My hair is supposed to be kinky!
There are some benefits, though. I can style my own hair for modeling work — no weave wig or press necessary. I can wet set my hair with rods and still use naturally curly products like Curl Junkie Curl Fuel Enhancing Spray. My hair is still kinky with more bounce. My curls are big and loose.
Maybe it’s spontaneity gone right. I still haven’t figured it all out yet. It’s a work in progress.
Email questions or comments to My-Cherie.
Q: I am writing for hair advice for my daughter who is almost 3 years old. She has curly hair (almost ringlets!”> on the underneath part of her hair. But the top part is basically straight (sometimes it gets a wave in the humidity”>. I have thick, straight hair and I have NO idea what to do with her hair! I have tried getting it cut into layers, but it really ends up making the front part of her hair look silly. She has had bangs, with the straight sides, but again . . . kind of silly looking. As her hair continues to grow, it is getting thicker — but currently it is very soft and very rarely frizzy. She would have the most beautiful head of curls if only they were all over! As of right now I have decided to just let her hair grow (including her bangs”> to maybe get an all-one-length look that is a bit on the longer side, if possible. In this growing process, I am putting her hair into either one small ponytail of straight hair or in two pigtails. But sometimes she just likes it down.
Cozy: It is actually much more common than you think for a toddler or baby to have a combination of hair types. Eventually, her hair should even out, but in the meantime, you need to work with what you have! I think it is a good idea to grow out the bangs but I encourage you to reconsider some long layers. If you are trying to encourage a wave or curl, relieving some of the weight of the hair by using long layers may help. You are right to find styles like ponies and pigtails in the interim. Good luck!
Q:: I wonder what I can do for my daughter and would love some advice. She is almost 3, and has the most gorgeous wavy hair. People ask me if I curl it. All I do is wash it (maybe 3 times a week”>, condition and rinse and use a pick to comb through. On no-wash days, it is shiny, blond, beautiful, and just past her shoulders. She has never had a haircut or trim. I have always just used baby shampoo and conditioner. Are there better products to use that won’t sting her eyes? Would it be better if I didn’t shampoo her at all? What conditioner wash would be best for such a small child?
Cozy: You are you lucky! Your daughter’s hair sounds amazing! If your daily and weekly regimen is working so well, I wouldn’t change much. If you are looking for a conditioner for her, I think it is important to use a product that is formulated specifically for children that is enriched with vitamins, minerals and herbal extracts. Just as important as what’s in the formulation, consider what is not in the formulation. Look for formulations that are paraben-free. I recommend our Sweet Strawberry Conditioner because it is contains 11 herbal extracts, including Sweet Almond Oil and Vitamins A & E., and is paraben-free. I do recommend a trim for your daughter, even if you want to keep her hair long. Removing the damaged ends will keep hair looking healthy and will help her hair grow.
Q: If anybody is seeking the early Lucille Ball hairstyle, my 4-year-old can show you how. Apparently, you grab a bunch of 3b curls in the front of your head. Then, using highly specialized preschool safety scissors, jaggedly cut off all but an inch of hair. Pull remainder of hair into a panicked ponytail while stifling any curse words — and voila!!! “I Love Lucy”!!!?
Seriously, my daughter needs a haircut. Her hair is 3b, Lucy on top, just past shoulder in back. I’m just wanting to make the ends fall evenly. I can’t even deal with the top craziness right now. Her ends are uneven and kind of fall out and away from her back. The best way to describe it is the way curly hair looks if you’re wearing a big around-the-headband and the hair doesn’t lay on the neck because of it. Nobody has done her curls justice anyway, as far as cuts go. I could take her to my stylist, and ruin the two hours of relaxation. I’ve got hair scissors and no experience! Dangerous combo.
Cozy: Oh no! Try to resist the urge to cut it yourself and take her to a professional! It sounds like she has some real specific challenges, and you would be best off with a visit to a professional!
Q: Do you have any recommendations for what I can use on a 4-month-old baby with extremely dry scalp and skin? He is constantly scratching his poor head
Cozy: When in doubt, it’s best to have a doctor take a look to rule out any real skin concerns. I think this is especially important since you mention scalp and skin.
Q: My 7-year-old daughter has a birthday coming up and asked me to straighten her hair for her party. I know she’s just wanting a different look for her curls, and she’s never asked before so I’m inclined to do it. But I have no idea how best to do it? What products should I use? What type of brush? Do I use a flat iron on her? Will it damage her hair? Her hair is mid-back and medium/fine curls.
Cozy: It’s natural for your daughter to want to try a new look, especially at age seven. I call this the “Barbie” syndrome. It usually happens right around this age. I think it’s wonderful for you to help her and to seek out information on the best way to go about this. I wouldn’t use a flat iron. it can be very damaging to hair. For smooth straight hair, evenly apply So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream to her damp hair prior to blow drying. For best results, section her hair and work section by section. You can use a paddle brush or a big round brush for a little more volume.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

The benefits of the sausage tree are just becoming known in the U.S.
By now you are probably familiar with my writing here on NaturallyCurly. I’m the herbalist contributor who writes plant monographs on various medicinal botanicals and natural products used in hair and skin care which hold benefits specific to curly hair. I write about the familiar ingredients popping up in beauty products — ingredients like avocado, murumuru, acai, neroli and bitter orange tree.
I listen to you, the readers, to find out what you’re seeing on the beauty shelves and what it is you seek to learn more about. At the same time, I have my own personal interests in botanicals from continental Africa — Earth-friendly products that are sustainable and that help communities economically.
Recently, a tree has come across my radar that is garnering attention on the international marketplace, especially in the UK. You might not have heard about it yet. This is a tree whose products are truly deserving of room on your health and beauty shelves. Meet Kigeli-Keia — also known as sausage or cucumber tree.
A truly fascinating specimen, sausage tree is a tropical species occurring in the eastern part of South Africa — for example, Swaziland, Namibia, Mozambique, Zimbabwe and northwards as far as Tanzania. It is called Nufuten in Ghana, and grows on banks or close to rivers and large streams elsewhere in tropical Africa from Eritrea to Chad and west to Senegal. Many trees that grow near water are held in awe by traditional healers in various parts of Africa, the Caribbean and Americas as holding holistic healing potential. As we take this journey into the realm of Kigeli-Keia, it is important to note that the tree growing on this terrain shows exceptional healing potential.
Growth and Habit

Sausage tree blooms.

Sausage tree fruit.
The tree is fairly erect, not branching a great deal. Where it does branch, the tips of the branches remain very thick, giving it a somewhat stout appearance. The sausage tree is a deciduous fruit-bearer that sheds its leaves in late autumn or winter, depending on moisture. Flowers are a spectacular dark red. In spring, they open, living as long as two months. They are set in whorls of three on a central rachis.
Sausage-shaped fruit grows up to 10 centimeters in diameter. It is dull greenish-grey, hard and very heavy. Fruit hangs from a very long, sturdy stalk, and falls in March and April. The pod-like fruits remains on the ground many months.
Chemical Constituents
Kigeli-Keia offers a number of beneficial effects for kinky, curly and wavy hair. It is a natural conditioning treatment that deters eczema. Creams or pomades featuring high concentrations of this elixir minimize the rashes that arise from shaving the hair line, when wearing hair close-cropped yet curly.
Kigeli-Keia can be used to treat burns that come from chemical or heat straighteners of hair. It contains natural pain relievers. It can be useful for very tight braids, extensions, twists, knot styles — also on the shoulders and hands of the braider or stylist.
Scientists analyze the chemical constituents of the various tree parts and run tests to isolate the specific beneficial qualities of this tree’s constituents and to understand its lengthy use as an important traditional healer’s tree medicine. They have found it contains:
- Napthaquinones (including kigelinone”>
- EFAs (including vernolic acid”>
- Courmarins (including kigelin”>
- Iridoids
- Caffeic acid
- Norviburtinal
- Sterols (sitosterol and stigmasterol”>; Steroids have been used to treat skin disorders such as eczema
- Flavonoids: luteolin and 6 hydroxluteiolin; have hygroscopic and fungicidal properties
- Anecdotal evidence suggests skin cancer use and Kaposi sarcoma (an HIV-related skin ailment”> treatment
- Antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties
- Anti-malarial, anti-bacterial, anti-viral
- Fungal infections
- Skin treatment: eczema, psoriasis, boils
- Serious skin ailments, such as leprosy
- Ringworm and tapeworm
- Post-partum hemorrhaging
- Diabetes
- Pneumonia
- Toothache
- Tonga women use it as a cosmetic against sun and anti-aging properties
- Used to promote Aphrodisiac qualities
- Fruit is used to ferment beer
- Leaves are livestock fodder
- Wild animal food: monkeys, parrots, baboons, elephants, etc.,
- Treatment for piles (boiled roots, stem, and bark”>
- Against gonorrhea (decoction of bark”>
- Wash to treat rheumatism
Traditional Black South African Uses
South African people have a long history of using this tree to fight, treat, soothe, attract or deter:
Products Containing Kigeli-keia
A.E Hobbs Ltd. Shampoo
A.E. Hobbs Ltd. Scalp Application
BioBotanica Skin Care with Kigelia Extract
BioBotanica Sun Care with Kegelia Extract
Cellex-C Under Eye Toning Gel
Enriched Pure Olive Kegelia Body Silk Spritz
Kigelia Cream for Psoriasis, Eczema, Cancer Recovery
Kigelia Pure Gel for Acne, Eczema, Dermatitis
Stephanie Rose Bird is an artist and writer. She is the author of Sticks, Stones, Roots & Bones: Hoodoo, Mojo & Conjuring with Herbs and Four Seasons of Mojo: An Herbal Guide to Natural Living.
She also hosts a Yahoo study and practice group based on her writing here.
Home page image by J.M. Garg.

Michelle Obama wears her hair in flips and bobs reminiscent of Kennedy First Lady Jackie O and of June Cleaver, the ’60s suburban housewife of “Leave It to Beaver” fame.
In her own role as potential First Lady, Michelle Obama’s hair is politically correct.
America expects the wife of Barack Obama, the man who wants to be president, to project an image of sophistication and near perfection. That image includes having hair that doesn’t make waves.
“As potentially half of the public face of America, Ms. Obama in locks or cornrows would be a bit too ‘in your face,’ even with her Harvard degree and her attorney status,” says Arizona State University English Professor Neal A. Lester, who studies African-American literature and culture and has written about black hair issues.
Mainstream America considers styles that reflect the European aesthetic more acceptable and less likely to offend. Hairstyles with African roots don’t get the same respect. To say someone has a nappy head is considered an insult, and the word “nappy,” which merely describes the kinky texture of hair, is practically considered a profanity. In polite circles, the word is euphemistically referred to as “natural.”

See what CurlTalkers are saying about “The New Yorker” cover.
Natural hair wearers have seen their politics, patriotism and even their hygiene come under attack. Their Afros, braids, locks and twists have been considered unprofessional, and many who have worn the styles have been demoted or have lost their jobs. Wearers of natural hairstyles also have not escaped being labeled subversive or being perceived as social misfits.
The media is fully aware of how certain hairstyles worn by African-Americans can feed negative stereotypes.
Case in point. The July 21 issue of “The New Yorker” magazine has on its cover a satirical cartoon showing Barack Obama dressed in Muslim garb as a way of suggesting that he is a terrorist. Michelle, his wife, is depicted wearing combat boots and fashionable fatigues, toting an AK-47 and bumping fists with her husband in an African-American salute of solidarity known as “the dap.” The hairstyle that cartoonist Barry Blitt choose to round out Michelle’s angry-black-radical-and-revolutionary woman’s image is a billowing Afro, a la Angela Davis.
Michelle Obama’s real life hairstyle plays it safe. Intended or unintended, it is decidedly apolitical.
“This is no different from Condoleezza Rice and her visits to the beauty salon for her perms these many years,” says Lester of Arizona State.
“There is a reason that Oprah, Beyonce, Mo’Nique, Patti LaBelle, Tyra, and Queen Latifah haven’t gone the way of Whoopi Goldberg. The reason is that there is clearly a public persona that makes these women culturally less threatening with straightened hair.
“I am not saying that these women are betraying their blackness. I am saying that the pattern of self-acceptance has not made its way into the realm of unstraightened hair.”




Elizabeth Wellington, fashion columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer, describes Michelle Obama’s hairstyle as “nebulous.”
“It can be the style of a Democrat or a Republican,” says Wellington who is African-American and happens to wear locks. “If she wore her hair naturally, it would freak out segments of America. Her hairstyle is what people think is acceptable, even black people. Locks and natural hair do not carry that kind of cache.”
Despite longstanding negative perceptions about natural hairstyles, prominent black female politicians have sported the look over the years and kept their seats. In the UK, Dawn Butler and her locks have served on the British Parliament since 2005. In the U.S., Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, chairwoman of the Congressional Black Congress, had a long run with cornrows before going back to a relaxed style. And several other longtime members wear or have worn Afrocentric styles. D.C. Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton and the late Texas representative Barbara Jordan dared to wear Afros during the 1970s, when the style was widely viewed as a symbol of militancy and an unabashed expression of cultural pride. Norton, who still remains firmly rooted in Congress, has even touted the virtues of wearing natural hair publicly.
“Nothing is more liberating than letting your hair be naturally what your hair is,” she said during a National Public Radio interview several years ago.
The signature natural hairstyle of Cynthia McKinney, the first African-American woman elected to Congress from Georgia, was two thick braids wrapped around her head. Washington Post Fashion columnist Robin Givhan has suggested that McKinney, who is savvy to the politics of black hair, used that particular style to project a certain image.
“The style seemed calculated to portray her as the underdog,” Givhan wrote in a column about her last year. She wrote that McKinney’s style was “purposefully out of fashion. Aggressively not slick, ostentatiously humble.”
When McKinney finally retired her braids and started wearing a natural “twist out” style, the litany of comments on blogs and in the media were derogatory and laced with harsh racial overtones.
One of the most offensive remarks was made by syndicated radio commentator and Libertarian Neal Boortz.
During comments about an incident (March 29, 2007″> in which McKinney reportedly struck a Capitol Hill police officer while trying to pass a security checkpoint, Boortz said that her new hairdo made her “look like a ghetto slut.”
As much as natural hairstyles get people all worked up, there is no evidence that political wives who wear them can derail their husband’s political aspirations.
Philadelphia’s personable First Lady Lisa Nutter, who has been described as a woman with class, wore locks while her husband Michael served on the city council and didn’t bother to cut or conceal them when he decided to run for mayor. He won handily, and when African-American women of power, influence and success are mentioned in the media, Lisa’s name has shared billing with the likes of Oprah and Michelle.
To roughly paraphrase a line by songstress India.Arie, Michelle is not her hair.
Whether she continues to flaunt the flip like First Lady Kennedy during the presidential campaign or decides to start locks like the First Lady in Philly, her real character should not be superficially determined by what she wears on top of her head.
It should be determined by the intelligence that dwells within it.
Linda Jones is a regular contributor to NaturallyCurly, writing a monthly column called Naturally Speaking.
Photo illustrations here and on home page by Dale Roe.
Recently, I wrote a column about how kitchens are perceived by black women who were born with nappy hair. As a confirmed napologist, I felt it necessary to enlighten my readers by putting the kitchen into its proper cultural context.
I explained that for many black women born with nappy hair, the kitchen is not just a place where food is cooked but it was the place where our hair was cooked. When we were young, the kitchen was where we went to undergo the unpleasant ritual of having our nappy hair straightened with the dreaded hot comb.
But if I am to stay true to my side profession I cannot stop there. The kitchen has still another cultural connotation for people with nappy hair.
The kitchen, dear readers, is also the nickname for the hair that resides at the nape of our necks. It is the place where our most rebellious kinks congregate. Hair that takes root and grows in our kitchens is the nappiest, curliest, kinkiest and the most resistant to change.
We already know that in unenlightened circles, nappiness is viewed as an unacceptable hair texture and the word “nappy” is a pejorative term. In that context, you can imagine how much our nappy kitchens are viewed with disdain. Those of us who are deeply afflicted with nap denial have gone through great lengths to obliterate that shameful section of our heads. If it took a double dose of chemicals or removal by razor to keep our kitchens in the closet, it was worth it.
But negative perceptions notwithstanding, the kitchen was a powerful place.
It was the area that my mother struggled with most during my hot comb rite of passage. While the hair on the rest of my head readily surrendered to the smoking hot comb, my kitchen did not give up without a fight.
I have a name of honor for my kitchen hair. I call it “Nap Turner.” My Nap Turner hair reminds me of the heroic slave Nat Turner who rebelled against oppression. “Nap Turner,” my nappy “hairo,” righteously rebels against being o-pressed by hot combs and chemical relaxers.
Even the nap-savvy Afro pick has lost a few teeth during expeditions into our kitchens. And pity our love partners of another hue who expected smooth sailing when they tried to run their fingers through our hair. When they passionately navigated their way into the density of our kitchens they were unexpectedly thrown off “coarse.” Much like disappearing into the void of the Bermuda Triangle, those probing fingers got forever lost in the kitchen kink!
Our kitchens have been such a deeply rooted institution that they have even commanded the respect of the Ivy League. Henry Louis Gates Jr., the esteemed Harvard professor, paid homage in his memoir, “Colored People.”
“If there was ever one part of our African past that resisted assimilation, it was the kitchen,” Brother Gates proclaims. “No matter how hot the iron, no matter how powerful the chemical, no matter how stringent the mashed-potatoes-and-lye formula of a man’s “process,” neither God nor woman nor Sammy Davis Jr., could straighten the kitchen.
The kitchen was permanent, irredeemable, invincible kink. Unassimilably African. No matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, nothing could de-kink a person’s kitchen.”
How’s that for validation?
If a Harvard intellectual can celebrate the wonderful condition of our kitchens then why should we take heat from those who don’t have a clue?
Q: Do you have recommendations on what to use on a 4-month-old baby with extremely dry scalp and skin? He is constantly scratching his poor head.
Cozy: I recommend that you discuss skin and scalp problems with a doctor. This doesn’t sound like an issue relating to the baby’s hair.
Q: My daughter is 2 1/2 years old and is a 4b. I’ve tried a variety of products on her hair in order to achieve various pigtails, ponytails and knotted styles, but I there are times when I want for her scalp to rest. What is a good product to use when her hair is wet to achieve great curl definition and reduce shrinkage so that her curls can hang loose?
Cozy: You need a great alcohol-free styling gel like So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. Just as important as the product is the way that you use the product. After bathing, wring out the excess moisture from hair. Do not brush or comb hair. Scrunch in a generous amount of gel evenly throughout her hair. Let her hair dry naturally or use a diffuser. After doing this a few times, her hair will get used to drying with the natural curl definition.
Q: My little girl is 2 years old, and the last few times I have washed her hair, so much hair comes out. Is this normal? It is pretty tangled, but I never comb through it without the conditioner in it, and I ordered the wide-tooth comb from this website.
Cozy: A small amount of hair loss is normal, but if you think her hair loss is more than normal, you should definitely talk with her doctor. If she is losing the hair when you are detangling, you should re-evaluate your detangling techniques. Using a wide-toothed comb with conditioner is a great way to detangle. Just make sure that you are sectioning hair into 1-inch segments and starting from the bottom of the hair strand. Work one inch at a time, moving up as you go, gradually working your way around the head.
Q: My daughter has curly hair and it tangles so easily. What products do you suggest?
Cozy: For extremely tangled hair, I recommend So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler. This product was designed to be used in the tub with a wide-tooth comb. Apply a liberal amount after shampooing and then section hair into 1 inch segments. Starting from the bottom of the hair strand, work one inch at a time, moving up as you go, gradually working your way around the head. For detangling between baths, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler on wet or dry hair. Just remember to start at the bottom of the hair strand and to work in small sections.
Q: After one year at school, my 6-year-old daughter totally hates her hair. How can I give her back her self esteem?
Cozy: Accepting yourself the way you are is a problem for most people, and unfortunately it is occurring at such an early age these days. My advice is the same for your daughter as it is for all people. Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are! As her mom, it is important for you help her learn this lesson.. You can help her learn to appreciate her hair by working with her to style her hair in a way that she will fell good about it. I have very vivid memories of spending hours and hours blow drying my curly hair straight as a kid. Then, the minute I would walk outside in humid weather, frizz! I wish that I had learned how to embrace my curls then, rather than always worrying about my hair frizzing and feeling self conscious about it.
Q: This summer, my 7-year-old will be going from camp to camp — horseback riding, swimming, etc. — and her long curls tend to get tangled easily. What are some products, styles, etc. that can help make all of our lives easier. We don’t want to cut it short because it’s actually more difficult to deal with.
Cozy: Don’t cut her hair! Long hair can be much easier than short hair. Before she leaves for camp, practice a few different easy styles that she will be able to manage. Try ponies, pigtails and possibly even a loose braid, if you think she can manage it. Perhaps she can learn how to braid and teach others so they can braid each other’s hair! One last trick: sleeping with a loose pony or braid will prevent tangles that happen during sleep.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
Q: My 3 year old has very fine, wavy hair — still sort of baby hair. She absolutely hates to have it brushed or combed, but she tolerates the hair washing well. I am wondering if there is some kind of product I can put in during the bath that will prevent it from ending up fly-away and messy looking.
Cozy: That’s great that she doesn’t mind shampooing. That’s more than half the battle! I’d say that if she’s comfortable in the tub, you are smart to look for ways to maximize that. After shampooing, try So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangling Treatment in the tub with a wide-tooth comb. Not only does it gently remove tangles, but it helps to prevent flyaway hair. As for keeping it neat looking, pulling it back and out of her face with a cute clip may be your best bet until she passes through this phase.
Q: My eldest daughter (9 1/2″> has almost waist length, extremely thick hair. It used to be totally straight. About a year ago, I noticed waves/ripples appearing. I noticed a little spiral at the front today. At the moment, she is still using shampoo and conditioner, and brushing it in the morning. Her hair gets quite greasy at the roots and her hair has to be tied back for school. It isn’t frizzy at the moment but am just wondering if I should be doing anything differently?
Cozy: You know what they say: “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!” If her hair isn’t frizzy, then I wouldn’t worry about doing something differently. For greasy hair, try washing it daily, gently massaging the scalp with your fingers to spread the suds around. If you would like to enhance her waves, you should consider a haircut with long layers. Heavy hair weighs down the curls, preventing the “bounce.” Your best bet is to talk with a stylist and get recommendations.
Q: I am mom to 4-year-old Paige, who has long very fine frizzy curly/wavy hair. I’m not sure if she is a 2b or 3a because the underneath part of her hair is curly (including ringlets”>, but the top is wavy. It’s a real nightmare! It always looks messy and I really need some advice about what products I can use to enhance the curl and combat frizzies. Should have it cut in a different style to enhance the curl? I haven’t got curly hair so I haven’t got a clue.
Cozy: Frizz occurs when the hair cuticle is ruffled. This is often caused by brushing curly hair. Curly haired people shouldn’t brush their hair. Instead, try this after bathing: “Scrunch” So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel into Paige’s hair. Let it dry naturally or with a diffuser. Her curls will be enhanced and frizz-free! As for her hair style, you should talk with an experienced stylist who can recommend a proper style for her hair type and face shape.
Q: I am the mom of 5-year-old Audrey. She has 3b/3c tight curls, but I am a dead-straight-haired Asian mom. I only comb her hair with my fingers, but she still hates it. It’s so dry here in Colorado, and it seems I have to have to comb it twice a day to make it look okay. It is SO hard to style her hair, and her hair seems to break off easily. I think she needs a haircut, but I don’t know where to take her. Any ideas?
Cozy: A proper haircut is critical for curly hair. Try asking friends and people you meet whose hair is similar to Audrey’s where they go for haircuts. A personal recommendation is always preferable. Why does she hate it when you comb her hair? Is it tangled? Is it uncomfortable for her? I recommend that you use So Cozy Lucky Lime PreDetangling Treatment while bathing. After shampooing, apply a generous amount and then comb through with a wide-toothed comb. The comb should glide right through her hair. She will probably even enjoy it!
Q: So after seven years of watching other parents deal with lice, my daughter came home with it. She has thick, long curly hair and it seems nearly impossible to get a comb through it. Any suggestions?
Q: Anything I can do to prevent lice so I never have to do this again? Anyone who has ever dealt with lice will tell you that it’s a nightmare. Prevention is definitely key! Use BOO! Shampoo & Conditioner. It scares away lice naturally! Boo is infused with pure tea tree oil, which is the known strongest natural lice repellent there is. It works the way citronella works to prevent mosquitoes. Lice are repelled by the scent of tea tree oil. If you use BOO! daily, you should be safe.
Q: I’m in middle school with 3b/3c mid-back length hair. I wore my hair down to school for pretty much the first time, and in the morning it looked so good. But I put it up later because it was too big and poofyish. So how big would you say is too big?
Cozy: There is no right or wrong answer about your hair style. Style is a very personal thing, and everyone has their own ideas and preferences. The important thing is for you to be happy with how your hair looks. When you say “poofy,” do you mean frizzy? Do your curls remain in all day or do they get frizzy and fuzzy? Try using So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream after you dry your hair. That should help to control your hair and prevent the “poof.”
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
In my column last month, I wrote a bit about women who I call Adult Survivors of the Hot Comb or ASH-C (Ashy”> for short.
ASH-C women were born with kinky hair, are mainly of African descent, and their childhood rite of passage included sitting in the kitchen getting their hair straightened with the dreaded hot comb. I mentioned in the column that while those hair grooming sessions were traumatic and near torturous, our elders administered the painful procedures as acts of love. They wanted us to be beautiful, even if they had to burn the beauty into us.
Apparently I have a number of ASHy readers. I received flattering responses about the column and some took the time to share their own experiences of their sessions with the “kitchen beauticians.”
“Thanks for that, my sistuh,” writes Ife Mahdi, a poet and administrative assistant from Dallas. “It takes me back. And like you said, those sessions, though misguided, were fraught with mama love. I cannot begin to describe the safety and love I felt as my mama slathered Dixie Peach (hair grease”> on my hair. Then came the snap, crackle, pop of the black straightening comb as it glided through my head. She was mostly careful, but on those occasions when she ‘slipped,’ that black comb would sizzle into the side of my neck and some major trauma would occur. I was ‘tenderheaded.’ My hair was very defiant, resistant, and waged its own revolution. It was sayin, ‘Hell no, I won’t go!’ And no matter how many of those high-powered down-to-the scalp burns I would get, my hair refused to stand up straight. Instead it would ‘go back,’ back to Africa, where it belonged.”
Like Ife, Allison Neal of Richardson, Texas, also understood the loving intent behind the “torture.”
“These acts were of parental care, concern and regard,” Allison writes. “Ironically, for many of us, without the weekly ritual of getting our hair pressed or having a perm, we would’ve experienced an identity crisis and felt unloved or neglected by our mamas!”
The most amusing, albeit insightful story, came from Linda Stein, a Jewish artist based in New York. Linda was born with hair that was dark and straight.
“You may be an ASH-C, but I belong to ASH-B; Adult Survivors of Hair Bleach,” Linda writes.
“Starting at age 16, there was nothing more important to my mom, who also loved me very much, than for me to have blonde hair a-la Marilyn Monroe. My sandy brown hair just would not do. This meant a searing, two-process bleach, in which the beautician first stripped the brown from my hair (which opened my scalp pores”> and then applied a burning second bleach which added the blonde.
“This was done in a beauty parlor, but I had an additional kitchen ASH-P experience at an even earlier age, in which my straight hair was permed by my mom, starting maybe at 8 years old, so I could be ‘acceptably’ female.”
A word to my ASH-C and ASH-B sisters. While I appreciate the sharing of your stories, I pray that you are fully recovered from those extreme hair makeover sessions from your past. If you are still having flashbacks perhaps you should see a hairepist.
It’s time to let it go.
Q: My daughter has wavy hair to the middle of her back, so the weight pulls it out. She told me last night she wants it just below her shoulders, and I thought maybe we can experiment with encouraging the waves. Any suggestions? She wants to shower and do her own hair, so I want to come up with a routine that will be easy for her.
Cozy: I think it’s great for children to be involved in their own grooming from an early age. This will be the foundation for proper grooming for the rest of her life! You didn’t mention her age, so I can’t comment specifically on how involved she can be but you will know what she is capable of. I recommend a light styling cream for your daughter’s wavy hair. Anything that’s too heavy will weigh it down and discourage the wave. Try “scrunching” So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream into her hair after bathing. Let her hair dry naturally. Do not brush it because it causes frizz and prevents the curls from setting.
Q: My 1-year-old is a 3c at the root and a 4a going down. What products would you suggest to define her curls and detangle them? I wasn’t sure what’s safe for a 1 year old.
Cozy: The perfect product for your daughter’s hair is So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. You can “scrunch” into dry hair when you need to refresh her curls and remove the frizz (like when she wakes up in the morning”> or “scrunch” in wet hair after bathing to help define the curls. It’s totally safe and very easy to use. I recommend spraying into your hands and then scrunching for a young child. It will be easier for your daughter.
Q: My mother insists on combing and brushing my daughter’s curly hair. I’ve told her many times that it’s not good for curly hair, and she’s not hearing me and she’s going and asking other people. She says, “I asked them and their baby has long hair and it’s brushed.” She just doesn’t get it. She says my cousin had pretty hair, but her hair was really frizzy because she brushed it all the time. And she tells me she doesn’t care what I say because she’s still going to do it. Any advice?
Cozy::Us moms always think we know best! Perhaps you can teach your mom by example. Take a picture of your daughter’s hair done the way you like it (without brushing”> and one the way you don’t like it (frizzy from brushing”>. Maybe your mom will change her mind when she sees the proof. I must tell you that you are right about not brushing her hair. Frizzy hair is caused by a ruffled cuticle. Brushing curly hair definitely ruffles the cuticle, hence the frizz. Tell your mom!
Q: My daughter is 4 years old and has 3b curls. When her curls are clean and tangle free, they are beautiful — bouncy, tight ringlets. But how can I keep her hair from getting so tangled when she sleeps and when she is in the car seat? It seems like the hair in the back of her head gets so tangled so quickly. It loses its curl and looks very messy. The front, sides, and underneath don’t fare as badly.
Cozy: A great tried-and-true trick I recommend is putting in a loose braid before bed or long car trips. This helps the hair stay detangled. An added benefit is that it can add a nice wave when you take out the braid in the morning..
Q: My young daughter cut her own hair about four months ago. She did it with her cute little round-tip preschool safety scissors. I still am surprised that she would do that!! She pretty near scalped the sides of her head — cutting upwards right near the scalp from her cheeks to her ears — on both sides. She also took some chunks out of the back. Thankfully, with her curly hair, no one has probably even noticed her hack job. (I can’t imagine what it would have looked like if she had straight hair!”> Thankfully, the top was pulled back in a clip so she didn’t give herself a complete mullet. So, now that the sides have grown back somewhat (still not enough to pull into a hair clip”>, I am wondering if I should get the back layered a bit to make the transition less noticeable. I also wonder if cutting the top layer of the back a bit shorter would make the tangle problem easier to cope with. As her hair has grown longer, the hair seems to straighten at the root and curl on the ends, especially if not freshly combed out. Yet I don’t want to cut her hair so that she looks like a poodle, either. Any suggestions?.
Cozy:This is such a common problem! It seems that nearly every child goes through this at some point. You are lucky that it hasn’t been that noticeable! It’s tricky to grow out hair like this. I recommend hair clips or headbands when possible to camouflage the uneven hair. I also recommend that you take your child to a professional stylist for a consultation to find out what your options are. It’s too difficult to recommend a haircut without seeing the hair. Good luck!
“If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.”
Lately Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton has been using the phrase made famous by Harry Truman as her way of saying that she can handle the pressure of being president.
She invoked the quote in Iowa when she was taking heat from her male rivals just before the January caucuses. She also stated the phrase to chide her remaining opponent, Senator Barack Obama, for complaining about the grilling he received from moderators at the presidential debate in Philadelphia.
At that time, she followed Truman’s quote with her own tag line.
“And, just speaking for myself,” she said, “I am very comfortable in the kitchen.”
As an Adult Survivor of the Hot Comb, the kitchen was not a place of comfort for me.
Adult survivors of the hot comb are women born with nappy hair who lived to tell about the trauma of how we had our hair groomed with steel tooth combs that were placed in fire. These “heated” hair grooming sessions took place in the kitchen.
When Hillary spoke of her comfort in the kitchen during her campaign remarks, she was clearly making reference to the room that most people know only as the place where food is cooked. But Adult Survivors of the Hot Comb know all too well that the kitchen is also the place where our hair was cooked.
I still shudder when I think about those Saturday nights when my sisters and I sat in our sweltering kitchen, unwillingly waiting until it was our turn to get our rebellious hair pressed, or o-pressed, to be more precise. The steel-toothed comb was the weapon of nap destruction.
The way it was heated depended on what kind of stove we had. When we had a gas stove the comb was placed over a low flame. When my father purchased an electric stove, the comb was heated on the spiral burner.
When the comb got smoking hot, my mother removed it, waved it in the air a few times and blew on it, as if that was going make it cool enough to bear.
It wasn’t. The comb was still hot and my hair still sizzled.
My mother cooked my nappy hair until all traces of what it was supposed to be was gone — at least temporarily.
Water, sweat, or any other form of precipitation caused my hair to revert right back to its natural state, which is why the dreaded kitchen hair straightening sessions were a regular, tortuous thing.
This ritual was played out in countless homes where nappy-headed females lived. In these households, the smell of burning hair was as common as the smell of fried chicken.
As strange as it may sound, the kitchen hair-straightening sessions were not meant to be abusive. For most of us, they were carried out as pure acts of love.
Our mothers wanted our hair to be pretty, and they were conditioned to believe that nappy textured hair didn’t fit that description.
So we had to sit in the kitchen and take the heat.
This is no criticism of Hillary’s choice of words and her rhetorical claim that the kitchen is her comfort zone.
It is just my humble observation that kitchen comfort is definitely in the mind, and on the head, of the beholder.
I think curly hair is pretty fantastic. Curls are springy and soft. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, long and short. Everyone’s curls are a little different, and many of us find that our hair never falls in the same way twice.
It’s not surprising that people love to touch curly hair.
In my last column, I mentioned an experience most curly girls share — having their hair “boinged.” People are fascinated with the springy nature of our hair. A few of my friends have been known pull gently on one of my curls, watching it lengthen as it straightens. They delight in letting it go and watching it bounce back to (more or less”> its original twist. The sound effects, of course, complete the experience.
“Boinging” isn’t the only time people play with my hair. Friends often try, with the best intentions, to pluck away “stray strands” that they notice. Those hairs, unfortunately for my scalp, are usually still attached to my head.
“Sorry,” they’ll say, as they meet resistance, “I thought it was a stray!”
My hair is known for doing its own thing; renegade strands are the norm. If I feel the need to rein in my hair, I’ll do it myself.
I’ll never forget the guy who sat behind me in math sophomore year. He used to rip up sheets of paper into tiny balls, which he would flick into my ponytail. The bits of paper usually went unnoticed until I stood up, sending them cascading around my shoulders onto the floor. This inevitably ended in the girls bathroom, where I would take my hair down and shake out any stray paper that remained.
Despite my anecdotes, most of the time when people close to me play with my hair, I don’t mind a bit. I will occasionally remind people I am less familiar with that just because I have a lot of hair doesn’t mean it’s public property. My sister, Lilly, has mastered the art of politely and firmly asking people to respect her personal space when they play with her hair. Since she keeps it short, it’s more vulnerable to frizz and she can’t throw it up in a bun when it begins to look unkempt. She finds it frustrating to carefully wash and condition it, only to have a friendly stranger run their fingers through her curls.
I’m enthusiastic about my curly hair, and I appreciate it when others appreciate it. However I’ve learned to draw boundaries, whether I’m telling a classmate that paper is for taking notes or a friend that hair on my shoulders can stay there.
Stay Curly, Julia
One of the most beautiful colors of the rainbow, purple describes just about any combination of the primary colors blue and red.

Purple eyeshadow can be stunning
For centuries, this color was associated with royalty for the simple reason that, until the 1800s, purple was a difficult color to create for clothing. In antiquity, “purpura” dye was derived from a variety of snail called the spiny murex, found in the waters of the Mediterranean. It supposedly took 12,000 mollusks to obtain a few scant grams of the pure color. No wonder it is said that the Emperor Aurelian refused to let his wife buy a purpura-dyed robe that was said to cost its weight in gold.
By the Middle Ages in Europe, purple dye was created from insects of the genus Kermes, various lichens and the madder plant. Along with shades of blue, it continued to be difficult to create the color, so it was still worn by the nobility. In fact, sumptuary laws, designed to regulate social hierarchies, dictated not only the colors that could be worn by certain classes, they also listed the types of clothing, the fabrics used, where they were made and details of the trims used.
Purple became available to everyone in the middle of the Victorian age with the development of synthetic dyes. Aniline was derived from the indigo plant and “mauvine” became the most fashionable color for clothing for many years.
In terms of makeup, purple eye shadow suits every eye color – most especially green and hazel. Technically, it is the color opposite one on a color wheel that makes a shade more “active.” However, most of us would look like a lab rat if we wore red eye shadow, so in the case of green eyes, we go toward the complementary color purple.
Green-eyed beauties can successfully choose any shade of purple from palest lilac to deepest violet to enhance their eye color. These will also work for brown eyes. Those of you with blue eyes will find the more red shades of purple most complementary.
However, when it comes to purple lipsticks and blushes, these are more dependent on skin color. Those of you with darker skin tones will find that purple shades can look gorgeous on you, but those of you with lighter skin tones find it more difficult to carry off. Someone with my coloring can’t do lavender lips, but someone with blue eyes, dark hair and porcelain skin would have more success with it.
Here are some of the loveliest purples available this spring:

NARS Night Fairy
Eye liners: Sue Devitt Eye Intensifier in Ava, Urban Decay 24/7 Pencil in Lust, MAC Technakohl in Purple Dash, Laura Mercier Liquid Eye Liner in Violette, and Revlon Powder Liner in Plum Wicked.
Blushes: Bare Escentuals Heaven, Tarte Cheek Stain in Cloud 9, DKNY Delicious Night Lip & Cheek Stain (comes in one sheer cherry plum shade”>, Givenchy Prisme Again! Blush Quartet in Charming Violet, and Make Up For Ever Lavender 9.
Lips: L’Oreal Star Secrets in Milla Purple, MAC Cyber, Dior Addict Front-Row Fig, Cargo Plant Love in Muir Woods, Sephora Ultra Shine Lip Gloss in Silver Purple, Bourjois Effet 3D Lip Gloss in Cassis Tropical, and Lancôme Juicy Tubes in Sweet Raisin.
For the young or young at heart who love sparkle, try Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping in Pixie Plum.
And for those of you who really love all things purple – a visit to The Purple Store is probably a must!
Q: I really need help with my son’s hair. I am not sure where he falls in the curl spectrum — maybe 3c? I want to know how to take care of his curls so they aren’t lifeless and frizzy and seemingly devoid of any moisture? Any help is greatly appreciated.
Cozy: Lifeless and frizzy hair is a big problem for curly haired people. The hair looks this way when the cuticle of the hair gets ruffled. The trick to make your hair look shiny and healthy is to keep the cuticle smooth, thus preventing that lifeless look. Keeping your hair hydrated with a leave-in conditioner will definitely help. Try So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. You can spray it in wet or dry hair and the scrunch. This is great for an on-the-go quick fix. For your regular routine, I recommend So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream after bathing. It’s a nice light cream that will smooth the cuticle, which will make hair shine while getting rid of frizz.
Q: My curly daughter is 5 and has chin-length 3b hair when dry, but it’s to the middle of her back when it’s wet. We rinse her hair daily and run conditioner through it before school. Once or twice a week, I spend more time with it and work harder on detangling it, but it hurts her. Sometimes I use my fingers and sometimes an extra-wide tooth comb, and always with lots of conditioner. We have tried various products, and it’s always the same so I don’t think that’s it. (The hurting is the same, not the quality of the curl and the look.”> She doesn’t want to sleep with anything on her head, so keeping it covered in satin while she sleeps won’t work. I don’t know what to do differently, but she screams the whole time I am doing her hair. I hold her hair near her scalp while I am working so that it won’t pull, and I don’t know if it actually hurts enough for her to be screaming — truthfully, she can be dramatic. But maybe her head is just sensitive.
Cozy: You have the right idea with the products and wide-tooth comb, but you need to try a different technique when combing her hair out. Section her hair into 1-inch segments. Then, instead of holding the hair near the scalp, take the first section and hold it one inch from the bottom of the hair strand with one hand and comb the small section. Work your way up the strand toward the scalp, eventually moving all the way around the head. That should prevent tugging on her sensitive scalp. I recommend doing this in the tub with So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangling Treatment, which was created for this very purpose. Now that you know how to properly remove the tangles, you need to work on preventing the tangles. Have your daughter sleep with a very loose braid in her hair. That will prevent tangles while she sleeps.
Q: I am a mom of 4-year-old Paige who has long very, fine, frizzy curly/wavy hair. I’m not sure if she is a 2b or 3a because the underneath of her hair is curly, while the top is wavy. It always looks messy, and I really need some advice about what products I can use to enhance the curl and combat frizzies. Should I have it cut in a different style to enhance the curl? I don’t have curly hair so I haven’t got a clue.
Cozy: It’s not uncommon for a child to have more than one type of hair texture. It’s hard to know if that is your daughter’s situation or if she needs a different cut. It may be that she needs some layers cut into her hair to remove some of the weight, which may be preventing the hair on top from curling. As for the frizz, a light styling cream is recommended for very fine hair. Anything too heavy will weigh down her hair and prevent the natural curl. Try So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. Not only will it enhance her natural curl, but it will add shine, prevent frizz and help control hair.
Q: My youngest daughter has the same hair as I do (3a“>. I have never had a good haircut, and have never been to the same salon twice. Now my daughter’s hair needs a cut. I have trimmed her hair at home, but it needs to be shaped because it is really weighed down. Being that I have never had a good cut, I don’t know what to do with her. I don’t want to take her to a salon because they always assure me up front that they know what they are doing, give me the stylist that charges the most as reassurance, and then I walk out with a cut that looks TERRIBLE. I would feel more comfortable doing it myself if I only knew what kind of cutting style I should be using. How do you cut curls?
Cozy: The best way to get a haircut that you are happy with is to have great communication with the stylist and realistic expectations. I remember as a child always feeling let down after my haircuts because I wanted it to look different, yet never knew how to describe what I wanted. Additionally, I wanted the “Dorothy Hamill” cut, yet I had curly hair which could never ever look like that. My expectations were completely unrealistic, and since I wasn’t able to properly describe what I wanted, the stylist had no idea why I was unhappy. To find a good stylist, why not ask people whose hair you admire where they get their hair cut? Check out NaturallyCurly.com’s CurlSalons section for recommendations. Also, I recommend that you look through magazines and tear out photos of what you are looking for. As the saying goes, “a picture tells a thousand words”. This will help you and the stylist figure out what you are looking for. Don’t give up on a hair stylist! There are so many talented people out there!
Q: My daughter has 3c hair, and we just came back from a 9-day vacation. She was swimming every day with a swim cap on (hair in a ponytail/braid”>, and we washed/conditioned it only once during the vacation. Her hair is now in a terrible tangle. It’s matted where the braid was and I can not seem to get the snarls out. HELP!!!!
Cozy: Oh my! This isn’t going to be easy. I’m sure you now understand the importance of combing out her hair daily to prevent that awful matted dilemma you now have. You must attack this in the tub with a very generous amount of So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangling Treatment. Hold her hair one inch from the bottom of the hair strand with one hand and comb the small section, working your way up the strand toward the scalp, moving up inch by inch. Eventually try to divide and section the matted braid. Continue to add more Pre-Detangling treatment as needed. That should prevent tugging on her scalp. Now that you know how to properly remove the tangles, you need to work on preventing the tangles. Have your daughter sleep with a very loose braid in her hair to prevent tangles while she sleeps. For daytime, keep her in ponytails or braids when she is active to prevent tangles. Comb her hair with So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner in between baths for daily maintenance.
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